grace is messy

Allow me to talk around my mess if I may…

A few years ago, a best friend of mine who I adore & love like a sister, was in a hot, triflin’ mess.  Not the pretend kind that bloggers sometimes ramble on about in which their seemingly perfect children and marriages hit a bitty snag in an otherwise mostly peaceful middle-class, American existence.  No.  I’m talking, straight up *actual* mess.

I didn’t know how to respond. I was mad at her.  Some of it was her fault. Some of it wasn’t.  Some of it understandable.  Some of it…not.  I tried to reason with her.  I tried silence.  I almost left her.  I didn’t. I decided to live in the tension of her mess -somewhat of her own making- for a very long time.   Eventually, she made it.  We made it too.  Love, friendship, sisterhood in tact.

I’m in a mess too.  I see my friends doing the same.  A few don’t know how to respond.  A few are mad.  Some of it is my fault, some of it isn’t.  Some of it understandable, some of it…not.  Some have tried to reason with me.  Some love through calculated silence.  Some pray constantly.  Some sit with me. Some cry.  Everyone but one decided to linger in the frustration, bathe in the tension of watching someone they love engage and embrace mess.

I’ve learned so much from these two life-altering messes, but the major take away is this: grace is messy.

Everyone involved gets dirty.  Hurt, broken, frustrated, maligned.  It is scandalous.

Grace is messy & scandalous.

Learn to linger in the tension.

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“On Fridays around these parts we like to write. Not for comments or traffic or anyone else’s agenda. But for pure love of the written word. For joy at the sound of syllables, sentences and paragraphs all strung together by the voice of the speaker.

We love to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. For five minutes flat.

Here’s how we do it:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog’s footer}.

3. Go and tell the person who linked up before you what their words meant to you. Every writer longs to feel heard.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes for the prompt: Mess.”

–Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday