Hope.

The other day, I managed to be unthankful about one of the most exciting things happening right now.  There is something I have to say today or I am going to explode…

If you read my sobfest blog post, Oh my, Oh my, Oh my three days ago you know I’ve been sporting a piss poor attitude.  I managed to be unthankful about one of the most exciting things happening right now.  Oh, bloggers, I apologize.  I’m tired.  No excuses, but extreme exhaustion tends to push me waaaaay off kilter.

Here’s the scoop…

Last week, an anonymous donor gave a major gift to the ministry Dave & I do at WMU.  The gift has served as a catalyst to Dave & I recovering our salary.  (As missionaries we are dependent on donations, and in the last year took quite a hit).  For the last week as I’ve thought about it, I’ve been so grateful, and happy, and excited and overwhelmed with emotions.

Everything from “why would someone do this for us, and not Haiti for example?” to tears of joy and sheer elation.

I know that this person or couple wants to give glory to God and not themselves but I wish I knew who they were.  I’d like to give them the biggest bear hug the world has ever seen.  I’d like to take them to their favorite restuarant and tell them to “do it big.”

I can only hope whoever did this wonderful thing for us, is a blog reader of mine so that you will know that you have blessed us tremendously.  I want you to know that we are -yet again- praising God, sensing his constant love and care for us and a renewed hope in our call to work with InterVarsity despite what we make.

Things were so bad last year financially, several times our loved ones would say, “why don’t you leave InterVarsity,”?  Or “go work somewhere in ministry where you don’t raise your own support!”  Or, “go get a real job.”  (That one really hurt).  Or folks would take to getting mad at InterVarsity as if that did any good.

We prayed, and prayed, and prayed.  For both of us, we have always sensed that InterVarsity is the exact place God wants us.  A couple of years ago, far before the drastic salary loss, I told God that I would never leave InterVarsity just because of money being tight or a salary being low.  I would only leave if it was right.  I.E.  boredom, new opportunity, a call to somewhere else, etc.   The jist was, I wasn’t just giving up because I went broke.  I love my job too much & it’s too important.

It seems that last year, God tested me. I believe he took me up on that.  Boy oh boy oh boy, did he ever take me up on it.

It’s hard to admit, but last year my salary dipped to $10,000/yr.  (In addition to Dave losing 1/2 his salary as well).  That’s for 40 hours a week in a middle management position in the same year we welcomed a 2nd baby, resumed my school loans and had to re-roof our entire house before it fell in on us.

Yep, it really was that bad.  We were able to qualify for all sorts of government services which I ultimately struggled with shame about while simultaneously being thankful that we live in a country that provides food for those who truly can’t afford it.

I’m not sure how God managed to do it, but we ended the year -even after Christmas- without any credit card debt, loans or debt other than our mortgage.  We were still able to give a percentage to our Church and various other charities we support and still somehow had a little -albeit tiny- money left over in our emergency fund.  There was such an outpouring of love from our Church, Westwood and a bunch of folks who graciously helped us through –including doing our whole roof for us!

Thanks be to God.  There was no need unmet.  Of course, we sacrificed in lots of areas, but overall I can’t say I’m regretful of anything we went without.  Living with a tight budget actually taught me how to make the little bit go a lot farther.

And now there’s huge transition to not only recovering our salary but getting a raise and a bit of back pay. It’s really bizarre is what is.  I sort of feel like Helen Hunt did in the movie As Good as it Gets. (One of my all time favorite movies).  Her son is perpetually sick and she cannot afford his care.  A man who likes her -without asking- pays for top quality medical care for her son.  She ends up writing a 10 page letter trying desperately to express how so drastically he changed their life.  She’s basically unable to articulate it any other way than saying, “this thing,” “this thing” you did for us.  That’s sort of how I feel right now.

This thing that someone + our other 80+ donors has done has given us renewed hope for our ministry and our financial future.

Yeah, yeah, it’s always hard to determine a new budget in the midst of two poeple coming from polar opposites on the financial front, however, the great news is, we can breathe a little.  *deep breath* Ahhh, now that feels nice.

In addition to all of that, as if our blessings aren’t running deep and wide and long and strong, we are going to be able to take a kid-free, fun-in-the-sun 10 year wedding anniversary to Cancun.  I think I’ve been looking forward to this for 5 years!  I’m not even kidding.

Our 10 yr. is coming up on May 20 & I cannot wait to have 5-straight  days of full nights of sleep, adult conversation, warm weather, scuba diving, swimming with dolphins, jet-ski-ing, snorkeling and whatever water activities Cancun has to offer.  I’m notoriously a sucker for water sports.

And, if I ever get around to unloading my textbooks, DVD’s & other junk stuff on ebay, I changed my mind about buying a bunch of stuff for our kitchen.  What I’d really like now is a water friendly hairstyle for the vacay, ala kinky twists & a super cute red polka dot suit ala the Esther Williams…

Anyway, a blessing for our faithfulness in the midst of financial peril?  Who knows.  All I know is, I’m brimming with hope.  Not just the vacation, or the salary, but the fact that I get to do this awesome job that I love and make a real difference in the world.  (If your wondering what this is, exactly, read this post that my friend & InterVarsity colleague, Jessica Fick wrote about what life is like a Campus Minister).

For all of you who financially support our ministry with InterVarsity, who pray for us & love on us in a million ways –thank you, thank you, thank you!  We appreciate you so much!