Everyday Black Matters
1. It has been a heck of a two weeks. 5 minutes ago, I finished my last & final paper for the semester & I am so relieved to be done for this semster.
2. I’m throwing up again & feeling overall miserable & discouraged about being pregnant. I feel like such a jerk for saying this but I don’t enjoy being pregnant. It sort of sucks. I realize my attitude about it is poor & I’m sorry but I just think it’s awful. I don’t ever want to be pregnant again — I’m sooo serious!
3. I gave our cat Little Jerri a bath last night out of anger. I know she hates them & I gave it to her because she had ran outside and literally rolled around in the dirt for 5 minutes in a place I could not get to her (under our house) & I was so angry I wanted to beat her to death –instead I bathed her. In the end she looked liked a sickly rat. It was a pleasing feeling.
4. I’m really emotional. The smallest things make me cry or inexplicably angry (hence #2 & #3).
5. I’m also really jealous right now. I’ve been searching for a laptop bag that I will love (cute, fashionable, tote with a retractable dolly & reasonably priced) for about 8 months now. I’ve searched high & low on the internet & all over town (multiple towns). I finally gave in & bought one I liked (not loved) at Best Buy & then 2 months later it broke. And then last month I go over to my friend Joy’s house & she has the one I LOVE. I go in search of it (or something similar) for the last 4 weeks & I can’t find anything reasonably priced. For some reason, this whole debacle has me so frustrated! Jealous of Joy!
6. Something good? Well, I think I could perhaps have gotten 3 “A’s” & 2 “B’s” this semester. How on earth I do not know.
7. Just pray for me yall, I feel like I’m sort of losing it here emotionally. Or perhaps I’m just really over tired & need some sleep. I’ve been fighting with pregnancy insomnia as of late. I had pregnancy insomnia pretty bad with Ransom but I seem to remember it starting later on in the pregnancy. It certainly can’t help that I’ve been uber stressed about my finals for over a week. I’m hoping my next blog will reflect more sleep & a change of attitude, blogging friends!
8. Transitions make me cranky. I realized when I pulled away from campus yesterday it was my last day there. My last class. The end of the semester. The near close of my Sabbatical year. The last time I’ll hang with my wonderful new friends on campus. I know I stil need to process the fact that my life there is done now. (When I go back to finish the degree I’ll be doing it online through their distance learning program). So, I know I have alot to process on that end as well.
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