“I’m Gay, But I’m Not Switching to a Church That Supports Gay Marriage”: me at the Atlantic

here you go…

When I became Catholic in 1998, as a college sophomore, I didn’t know any other gay Christians. I’d been raised in a kind of pointillist Reform Judaism, almost entirely protected from homophobia; when I realized I was gay it was, if anything, a relief. I thought I finally had an explanation for the persistent sense of difference I’d felt since early childhood. This sheltered upbringing may help explain my sunny undergraduate confidence that even though I knew of literally nobody else who had ever tried to be both unashamedly gay and obediently Catholic, I was totally going to do it. No problem, guys, I got this.

Things look different now. I hope I’ve learned a few things about the dangers of sophomoric self-confidence: There are times when my relationship with the Catholic Church feels a lot like Margaret Atwood’s ferocious little poem,

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

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