“Would you rather be right or be happy?” That question is a stock query in spiritual circles. I’ve used it in my relationship workshops to support couples to shift out of the arguments that create power struggles and back into the ease, connection, and love that brought them together. When I find that I’ve taken a position I remind myself that I’ve committed to letting go of being right, and drop back into the chaos of not knowing, which allows... Read more
I’m part of the wonderful Boulder Center for Conscious Community. Yesterday, the BC3 took part in the Boulder PrideFest, celebrating diversity and community. With some help from a couple of friends from the BC3, I took the stage to demonstrate what I think often occurs with the issue of low sexual desire. Here’s the video of that very serious presentation. Read more
(This is the 2nd in a series on how to tell if you’re in Reactive Brain (aka “your ego”). You can follow along with the states by downloading my Inner Map here.) We had dinner the other night at a lovely French bistro in Denver. Lovely, that is, until the couple at the table next to us began to escalate in their arguing. It became impossible to ignore, as I could feel the toxicity of their anger blasting over at... Read more
Have you ever wondered what the “ego” really is? I don’t mean Freud’s id/ego/superego. I’m talking about how common it is for spiritual writings to describe how important it is to move away from the ego and into higher realms, the more expanded places of spirit. This has seemed vague to me—I know it’s not a good thing to be ego-based, to let my ego control me, to live from my ego. But it’s kind of like Timbuktu: it’s out... Read more
When I taught at Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, some participants were incredulous at the idea that it was possible for everyone to get everything they want. It does sound unbelievable, doesn’t it? And yet I’ve never seen it fail. The key to everyone getting everything they want is to dream first, solve later. It’s the solutions that create the logjam as each person already has a picture of the outcome (“We have to have a BUDGET.” “We’ll just alternate years... Read more
You may have read my recent post about having presented at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. It’s this kind of event that re-inspires my work, as I get to spend several hours with people who are out in the world, doing the best they can with what they know. And I witness how difficult it is for them as they reach the same deadends, the typical frustrations, the resignation and deadlocks that come with not knowing how to have relationships... Read more
Greetings to my sweet, brave, and, fun companions from the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival! I had the honor and the thrill of teaching around 100 women conscious tools, both in intensives and then in fishbowl coaching. Imagine, if you can, circles of people sitting together on low beach chairs out in the middle of a clearing amongst huge oak, maple, ash, and sassafrass trees, soft ferns around us, our feet nestling into sandy soil. Oh, then that one day of steady... Read more
WAKE UP! Another mass shooting. 12 dead, 58 wounded watching a movie. WAKE UP! 69 people killed at a Norwegian summer camp. WAKE UP! 13 high school students shot. The Twin Towers attacked; over 3,000 killed. 300 killed in Syria. More than 100,000 Iraqi citizens and 4,486 Americans killed in a war over WMD that were never found. How do we awaken ourselves from this sleep of unconsciousness? I’ve had wake-up calls in my life; have you? The times when my body... Read more
I was just in Madison, Wisconsin, at the National Women’s Music Festival, where I taught some workshops on catalyzing conscious relationships. Since we were in a swanky hotel, I decided it would be fun to have a happy hour chat. Nine of us sat around doing a q+a about relationships. When one woman asked this question, the others leaned forward, straining to hear my response. “What happened to the zing?” she wondered. “It was there at the beginning–where did it... Read more
I love the world of relationships. Since I was a kid and read “Can this marriage be saved?” column in my mother’s Ladies Home Journal I’ve been fascinated by the dynamics of relationships and how to transform them. Here’s my most recent foray into playing in the world of relationships: The RIDE Program (Relationships Ignite Dreams and Empowerment). With the help of my pals, Jan and Verna, we’ve created a year’s immersion for people who are interested in mastering the... Read more
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