Stay Alive: The Dual Tragedies of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain

Stay Alive: The Dual Tragedies of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain June 8, 2018

Depression is real.

Depression kills.

And it doesn’t discriminate.


“How could you get Kate and Anthony?” I ask in anguish, even though I know the answer.


Depression came so close to killing me in 2016, I still feel its icy fingers clutching at my heart, my hands, when I read their stories of loss.


I know how Depression spoke to Kate and Anthony, how it whispered lies to them in their own voices until it tore them right out of their skin.


Darling, if you hear the whispers: Do not believe Depression’s lies.

The lies are spoken in your voice, but they are NOT YOU.


When it tells you to die, stay alive.

When it tells you the world would be better without you, stay alive.

When it tells you every day will be a cloud of dark, forever, stay alive.


I know how Depression used pain to bury them both in Darkness so black and full of fury, they would do anything–anything—to make it stop.


Darling, if you feel the pain: Do not let it bury you in the ground.

The pain feels like all there is, but it is not ALL of YOU.


When despair fogs your vision until you don’t recognize your own face, stay alive.

When anything would be better than the hell inside your mind, stay alive.

When pain begs you to escape your body, stay alive.


Stay. Alive.


Kate Spade taught us:

No amount of success, money, awards, achievement or belovedness can protect you.


Anthony Bourdain taught us:

No amount of family, friends, food, fame or fans can protect you.


Both taught us:


Only YOU can protect you.


I learned this lesson the hard way–but not the hardest way. Not the way that would have gutted my husband, parents, sisters and put me in a grave.


Exactly two years ago this week, my car was parked on train tracks with me in it, waiting for the end.


If I asked for help, if I fought my way back to light: you can, too.


Now I speak, coach and write about Transformation through everyday courage, radical kindness, and the journey of becoming well.

But by far :

The bravest thing I have ever done is stay alive

The kindest thing I’ve ever done is stay alive

The way to becoming well began with the choice to stay alive.

Stay alive. Ask for help. You are worth it.


Courage, darlings.

Keep Couraging in the dark.

I love you. The world needs you.

-Reba Riley

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