Have you heard the statistic that nearly 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. are estranged from their parents? That’s a hard thing to think about. It’s even a harder thing to experience. Estrangement is painful and confusing. Whether it’s misunderstandings, differing values, or past conflicts, many families face this challenge. One of the last times I attended ladies Bible study at a large church, my breakout group of eight women had three of us going through this experience. We... Read more
My 33-year marriage ended with a quiet whimper, not an explosion. After rounds and rounds of counseling, unkept promises, empty days – I left. That morning, I asked if we could talk. He grudgingly sat down, visibly irritated, as usual. Everything I did or said irritated him, causing his deeper withdrawal and palpable resentment. “How do you think things are going?” I asked. He waited a beat, then stood up, went to get his jacket and his laptop, and left.... Read more
Abuse does not always leave bruises. Image courtest of Pexels Sometimes it is silent. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it rages. Then comes the apologies, the tears, the bouquets of flowers. I didn’t think I married an angry man, although there were a few early red flags. When too much alcohol was consumed, there would be tears and woeful shrieks of pain that had to go somewhere. Alcohol provided the portal for its escape. Always frightening. Always deeply confusing. ... Read more
Your need to scream over the circumstances of your marriage and motherhood may be sudden or enduring. At some point, you realize the pain is bigger than you. Angela’s plunge into the pain of motherhood began with a 1:00 A.M. phone call from the police. Her son had been arrested for Possession of Controlled Substances. After rehab, she had high hopes that he would slay the monster that had controlled his life for twelve years. Susan experienced a... Read more
When I became a Mom, I wanted to be the Perfect Mom and raise the Perfect Family. I put my career as an attorney on hold and, dang it, I was going to raise kids who were scholars and saints. I had a distorted view that perfect skill in mothering would lead to perfect children. If I used all the right discipline and used great communication skills and had the right homeschooling curriculum, the result – the product – would... Read more
Incredible joy. Unspeakable pain. This has been my parenting journey. I have traveled from the heartbreak of infertility to the miracle of answered prayers – from the birth of new life to the death of dreams. My only regret: I wish I had been a little more prepared. Image credit DeeDee51 at Pixabay Preparation for Motherhood As I prepared for motherhood, I feasted on the TV ads showing the lovely young mom rocking her baby, dressed in a flowing... Read more
It has been said that marriage and family life are a crucible. Life’s challenges turn up the heat and the pressure fundamentally changes us. As reflect on my six decades of life, to say that things did not turn out the way I expected would be an understatement. I approached both marriage and motherhood with incredible idealism. I was sure I would have the greatest marriage and my kids would rise up and call me blessed (Proverbs 31:28). Now, I... Read more
As I start a Patheos column in 2024, I am deeply troubled by a world that feels divided and fractured. We live in a time where political beliefs and personal choices can easily become barriers between us. We judge, categorize, and sometimes even hate one another for the differences that make us unique. Yet, beneath the surface, we all share the same humanity. We all long for connection, understanding, and respect. Some of us have made personal choices... Read more
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