As the holiday season draws near, my thoughts inevitably return to the empty chair at the dinner table. The chair where my daughter once sat. This year, it may be two chairs, as two of my daughters will likely be absent Thanksgiving holds a special place in my heart. It’s my favorite time of year, a day devoted to giving thanks, something I try to practice every day. But having one day set aside for gratitude feels like a special... Read more
When my kids were young, I was a super mom. I could dry every tear, kiss every boo boo and scare away any bogey man. Photo Courtesy of Pixabay One of my daughters approached me with a broken toy once. She said, “Mommy fix this. Mommy fix everything.” Those were glorious days of mothering filled with joy and fun. Stressful, yes, but definitely delightful. As time went on, I lost my fix-it superpowers. I couldn’t fix my then husband’s cancer.... Read more
Wait. I thought parents were supposed to be the teachers of children. As a former homeschooling mom, I was invested in being the teacher of my children. Teach them I did, for better or for worse. In the end, they taught me far greater lessons. Image Courtesy of Pexels.com We try to teach our children to thrive in the world, but sometimes their struggles can invite us to grow in unexpected ways, calling us to deeper maturity, understanding, and spirituality.... Read more
I’ve been divorced. Twice, actually. I married the first time when I was young and scared and stupid. Can God forgive me for that? I married the second time to someone I thought was perfect, who turned out to be as flawed as I am. There are many of us in the pews who are in the same situation. Wondering. Image courtesy of Pixabay Are my sins beyond the grace of God? Some would say yes. Unless they were occasioned... Read more
Have you heard the statistic that nearly 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. are estranged from their parents? That’s a hard thing to think about. It’s even a harder thing to experience. Estrangement is painful and confusing. Whether it’s misunderstandings, differing values, or past conflicts, many families face this challenge. One of the last times I attended ladies Bible study at a large church, my breakout group of eight women had three of us going through this experience. We... Read more
My 33-year marriage ended with a quiet whimper, not an explosion. After rounds and rounds of counseling, unkept promises, empty days – I left. That morning, I asked if we could talk. He grudgingly sat down, visibly irritated, as usual. Everything I did or said irritated him, causing his deeper withdrawal and palpable resentment. “How do you think things are going?” I asked. He waited a beat, then stood up, went to get his jacket and his laptop, and left.... Read more
Abuse does not always leave bruises. Image courtest of Pexels Sometimes it is silent. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it rages. Then comes the apologies, the tears, the bouquets of flowers. I didn’t think I married an angry man, although there were a few early red flags. When too much alcohol was consumed, there would be tears and woeful shrieks of pain that had to go somewhere. Alcohol provided the portal for its escape. Always frightening. Always deeply confusing. ... Read more
Your need to scream over the circumstances of your marriage and motherhood may be sudden or enduring. At some point, you realize the pain is bigger than you. Angela’s plunge into the pain of motherhood began with a 1:00 A.M. phone call from the police. Her son had been arrested for Possession of Controlled Substances. After rehab, she had high hopes that he would slay the monster that had controlled his life for twelve years. Susan experienced a... Read more
When I became a Mom, I wanted to be the Perfect Mom and raise the Perfect Family. I put my career as an attorney on hold and, dang it, I was going to raise kids who were scholars and saints. I had a distorted view that perfect skill in mothering would lead to perfect children. If I used all the right discipline and used great communication skills and had the right homeschooling curriculum, the result – the product – would... Read more
Incredible joy. Unspeakable pain. This has been my parenting journey. I have traveled from the heartbreak of infertility to the miracle of answered prayers – from the birth of new life to the death of dreams. My only regret: I wish I had been a little more prepared. Image credit DeeDee51 at Pixabay Preparation for Motherhood As I prepared for motherhood, I feasted on the TV ads showing the lovely young mom rocking her baby, dressed in a flowing... Read more
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