It never fails: On November 1st, anxiety begins to build up in my heart and mind. Quickly, I recall every memory that triggers me. The holidays don’t ever go according to plan, and often, they can spiral downward quickly. Every single year, I have to resolve the disappointment of what was expected all these years and what actually happened.
The Past Has A Way Of Determining My Feelings And Actions Right Now
I move between wondering why I put in so much effort and not wanting to do anything. It’s too much to gather my strength to send the invite, make the plans, and spend the money. I’m done fooling myself, thinking I can do it all; someone will just have to hear the word “no.” I’m sorry if that disappoints them. But the holidays are a clear call to discover some boundaries and fall into the arms of God’s grace.
Be Kind To Yourself
I have learned that the holidays are a time to be kind to yourself. You cannot make everyone happy, and there is a 100% chance you will disappoint someone. But if they are unwilling to give you grace during this very hectic and overwhelming time of the year, then that’s their problem.
If You Are Feeling Sad, Then You Are Not Alone
The fact is everyone has elevated levels of stress during the holidays, and a lot of those people are struggling with depression. According to the American Psychology Association, in 2023, 89% of US adults were concerned about not having enough money, missing loved ones, and anticipating family conflict during the holidays. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 64% of people with an existing mental illness report that the holidays make their condition worse.
Holiday Stress And Depression Is Very Real
Holiday depression is a very real thing, and Christians are not immune to experiencing this persistent sadness during the holidays. According to Choosing Therapy, 5% of the adult population experience depression, 14% experience winter blues, and 69% feel stressed by lack of time and money. It’s time to start normalizing the fact that not everyone is happy about the upcoming events that will be happening over the next several weeks.
According to Very Well Mind, the signs of holiday depression include:
- Changes in appetite or weight
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Depressed or irritable mood
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Feeling more tired than usual
- Feeling tense, worried, or anxious
- Loss of pleasure in doing things you used to enjoy
So Many Changes To Navigate
The holiday season is filled with not only a change in your schedule and routine but also a time to try to meet the needs of other people. You might forget to take care of yourself, and this can cause depression to set in. There is no way to give more than you have to give; you need to be filled, too.
Looking Ahead To The End Of The Holiday Season
New Year’s has quickly become one of my favorite times. I love spending more time with family and having fun around the holidays. But it is a lot, and it takes me away from my work, health, and home responsibilities. Everything that needs tending to regularly get pushed to the side because so many people want to do something, need something, or have an expectation they wouldn’t usually have outside of Thanksgiving and Christmas. But the new year is the opportunity to return to my routine.
Some Practical Ways To Be Kind To Yourself And Endure Through The Sadness You May Feel
It is vital to ensure you don’t live in darkness and isolation when struggling with holiday depression. You need to be intentional about surrounding yourself with people who fill you up, not those who continue to add stress to your life. There is a time and place to deal with relationship dysfunction, but it is not the time during the holidays.
Sometimes, I would like to give more, but I don’t have it in me. Everyone has limits, and saying “no” and letting go of unrealistic expectations is an excellent way to start creating boundaries around the holidays. Learning this has given me the ability to regain control of my life when it feels like I have no control over where my time or money goes.
Remember The True Reason For The Season
We Christians have a special gift when it comes to coping with the holidays: Jesus. When everything is going wrong, or even when it is going right, we get to remember why we celebrate Christmas—it’s all about worshipping Him. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.
The stress and depression I have experienced over the years surrounding the holidays have taught me that my identity in Christ is the only measure of worth that I need to focus on. During the pain and trials, I can always lean into my faith and remember all the good gifts God has given me and you.
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