Fide and Femina
I mentioned in my last blog that I was not a supporter of the #MeToo movement. Oh, I was at first. In my view, anything that brings more awareness to the sexual violence, abuse, and harassment women endure is a noble thing. Women began coming out with their stories — also good, in addition to therapeutic and necessary. I am not a statistics gal, so I don’t know how many online entries with the popular #MeToo hashtag were published. But I remember thinking how sickening the number was, because if there were that many women and men coming out to say #MeToo, how many more were there still hiding out in their dark closets, filled with too much shame, embarrassment, and fear to say a word?
In essence, the #MeToo movement emboldened many women, which in turn helped set them free. Giving voice to their darkness welcomed the light and dispelled fear, and the #MeToo crowd roared with newfound freedom.
Until …
It was soiled.
I’m referring to is the Judge Brett Kavanaugh debacle. Christine Blasey Ford was willing to come forward without an ounce of proof to willingly destroy a man with upright character and reputation – and the #MeToo movement supported her all the way. There were other accusers as well, most of whom have admitted to lying post-trial.
Before the now appointed Supreme Court Judge presented his side, he was deemed guilty. Before Ford presented evidence, he was deemed guilty. Not in a court of law, but according to the #MeToo movement, the mainstream media, etc. “Innocent until proven guilty” didn’t enter the picture or narrative until all the evidence was presented, and there was so little (none, in fact) that the higher ups had no choice but to confirm the man. But the #MeToo crowd continued to cry Guilty!, in spite of a plethora of reasonable doubt presented.
It disgusted me.
Is a woman not capable of lying? Is a woman not capable of setting up a potential Supreme Court Justice (with the overwhelming support of corrupt politicians) in the sheer hopes of destroying the man, and thereby promoting a political agenda that coincides with her own? I’m speculating as to what her motives might have been, but if we want to simply look at the facts, the facts were that she lied, and so did the women who backed her up by saying Brett Kavanaugh abused #MeToo.
Enter Joe Biden and his accuser, Tara Reade … and the #MeToo movement has been largely silent. Alyssa Milano, the movement’s founder, did come out on the 27th to say some kind but wobbly and weakly supportive words to Reade. But not until she had previously said this (and I quote):
I just don’t feel comfortable throwing away a decent man that I’ve known for 15 years in this time of complete chaos without there being a thorough investigation and I’m sure that the mainstream media would be jumping all over this… if they found more evidence through their investigation. So I’m just sort of staying quiet about it.
On the 28th, she changed her tune (and I quote):
I’m aware of the new developments in Tara Reade’s accusation against Joe Biden. I want Tara, like every other survivor, to have the space to be heard and seen without being used as fodder. I hear and see you, Tara.
She wants Tara to be heard (or at least have the space to be heard). She sees. But she doesn’t yet believe Tara Reade. Why?
Because the evidence has not been presented.
The accused has not yet been tried.
My question is:
Why didn’t Brett Kavanaugh get the same benefit of the doubt? He was deemed guilty the instant accusations flew. Ford was believed from the moment she cried #MeToo!
Reade’s response to Milano is also telling (and I quote):
I think we need to compare how she responded to Brett Kavanaugh… quite different than the talking points she [used] regarding Joe Biden. She never reached out to me. I don’t really want to amplify her voice because I feel like she hijacked my narrative for a while and framed it about herself… she knows nothing about it.
I hear distrust in Reade’s voice, and for legit reasons. Milano is simply biased, based on her political agenda. She cannot (or will not) see a woman’s suffering and abuse from a woman to woman perspective. She sees it from a left versus right perspective, and if the woman wants to come forward with accusation toward a man on the right, said woman has Milano’s full and doubt-free support. If a woman wants to come forward with accusations toward a man on the left, she doesn’t have Milano’s support, nor is she believed.
I am not here to dispute whether Reade is telling the truth, or whether Joe Biden is innocent. I’m only exposing the flaws of the #MeToo movement, and more pointedly, its founder. If you’re going to come out and say you support all who have endured sexual assault, abuse, or harassment, then do it. The first step to doing that is to believe the woman, regardless of whether she’s accusing your beloved politician. Support and believe her, until you find a legitimate reason not to.
There may indeed be good reason not to believe Reade. Women are not saints. They are capable of fraud and lying and all sorts of evil. And if someone determines, based on solid evidence, that she is indeed a liar, that someone should simply make it known that they withdraw their support, and why.
This is not a hard concept, but it is a concept that requires the ability to look beyond politics (or other agendas) and into the heart and soul of those who are claiming they’ve been injured deeply. When do we ever approach someone dripping with literal blood, and not believe they’re hurt? They’re dripping with evidence! Of course, there’s such a thing as fake blood, and if we begin to dress the wound and find ketchup instead of blood, we confront the liar and withdraw our support.
Pretty clear cut.
So my other questions are:
Why did Milano unequivocally support Christine Blasey Ford, before any evidence was given and even once the evidence proved the accusations against him were unreliable and untrue? And why does Tara Reade receive silence, following by a weak I hear you, along with an implied I’ll be watching you response from Milano?
It’s wrong. It’s unfair. It’s biased. And it’s why I don’t support Milano or her #MeToo movement. I choose to believe any woman who tells me she has been mistreated, until I find evidence that proves otherwise. Nobody should have to endure disbelief on top of trauma, and nobody should have to go to court as a defendant who is prematurely pegged as guilty.
Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash
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