Marriage Equality: Because It’s Right. Because It’s Time.

Marriage Equality: Because It’s Right. Because It’s Time. May 27, 2014


“Instructions for living a life. 
Pay attention. 
Be astonished. 
Tell about it.” 
― Mary Oliver


Mary Oliver writes sensitive, life-filled poetry. She challenges and inspires. She is also a lesbian.

The friend who introduced me to Mary Oliver’s poetry does not condone marriage equality… at least, last time we talked. This friend who finds Oliver’s poetry so lovely is prepared to prohibit Oliver from marrying the person she wants to marry.

Ironic, isn’t it? Mary Oliver’s poetry is good enough to inspire, admire and recommend, but her human rights are subject to approval.

I recall stories of slaveowners who had sex with their slaves, yet those slaves were considered as three-fifths of a person. Slaves are good enough to have sex with but not good enough to consider a whole person.

Whatever societal reasons we may use to deny human rights, whether race or orientation or simply personal taste, is just semantics. It’s self-interest. It’s wrong.

Whether equality supposedly threatens a slave owner’s commerce, or threatens our current perception of marriage (‘current’ because marriage has changed several times — here and here and here), those reasons do not justify, nothing justifies relegating entire groups of people to second-class citizenship.

This has got to break now. It is breaking now. In society. In the church. In our hearts.

The time has come for marriage equality. Because it’s right. Because it’s time.

Life is too short not to spend it loving and being loved.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”Mary Oliver


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  • I just returned from getting married. We had a destination wedding, not by choice, but out of necessity, since our home state does not see us worthy of legally becoming a family. Consequently, many people who wanted to be with us could not because of finances, work conflicts, health issues that prevent long distance travel, etc.

    Then there were those who could not bring themselves to participate due to religious beliefs. It is these people I feel the most for, because had they just taken a leap of faith they would have felt the incredible sweetness of God’s presence during the wedding ceremony. You can ask anyone who attended and they will speak to the sweet, loving Spirit that engulf the ceremony.

    I cannot help but believe if God frowned on our wedding or marriage, He certainly would not have shown up the way He did. To me this is further proof that gay and Christian are not exclusive terms. My spouse and I are looking forward to a long marriage in service of God and others. We will choose daily to honor God in our separate and joint lives.

    The funny thing is my spouse and I were convinced we were just getting married for legal protections because “we could not be more married or more committed than we already were”. We were wrong. I will say it again … we were wrong. We both felt very different after the wedding. In a strange way we felt more valid, less invisible and more of a family. Before my wedding I thought everyone should be allowed to marry because it is a “civil” union and it is discrimination not to allow marriage. After the wedding I feel the same way, but I also feel it is so much more. The feeling, the connection, the joy we feel by being “one” in front of God and chosen family is indescribable. Marriage is sacred, even if not religious. It is a decision I am glad we made and it has already made a difference. So yes my friend … It is time … long overdue …

  • Oh, so sweet! I am very happy for you! I remember marrying Rob nearly 27 years ago, and I agree — it is different to step over that threshold. I’m very glad you did, and wish all LGBTQ people could. Bless you. <3