Let The Trash Take Itself Out

Let The Trash Take Itself Out November 11, 2014


Now hold on a minute, I don’t mean the PERSON is trash. No.

But sometimes a relationship is trash.

That is, sometimes a relationship that used to provide life no longer does, and it’s time to move on. Sometimes a friendship that used to be healthy becomes toxic, even deadly. The best thing – even if it’s a difficult thing – may be to let the relationship go.

I have had relationships in the past, friendships, that were crucial to me at that time in my life. Relationships with people I believe God specifically connected me with, for both our benefit.

Then the tide turns, and that relationship is no longer producing joy or benefit for one or both of us. The closer the relationship is, the harder it can be to let it go, because it’s full of memories of great times, buoyed by the hope that those good things won’t stop.

But once that ship has sailed, that ship has sailed.

These relationships may end in harsh words, even tears, because we’re trying to hold onto something that was once exhilarating but is now crushing.

I am a complete advocate for reconciliation. “As far as possible, be at peace with everyone,” to quote Paul. But peace is not always possible, and peace may look like going your separate ways.

That’s okay.

Think about pruning a tree. It involves cutting back good branches. There’s a skill to it, because some branches are best pruned and some best left to grow. The principle is that the big productive branches require more and more nutrients, etc., to produce proportionately less fruit, whereas the smaller branches use less to produce more.

The friendships that produced the most life are the hardest ones to admit the end of, when the end has come.

We doggedly resist change, for the most part, because it’s scary and way too unsettling. We wonder why everything can’t be as it once was.

Only by looking back can we see the freedom that came from simply letting it go, and letting our lives move forward the way they’re designed to.


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