Madeline was expressing all of her (perceived) failures, saying she felt unable to make God happy. It was years of misguided perceptions, the kind that many women, and men, subject themselves to when they live with people who demand perfection.
I recalled to her the story of the father who runs out to embrace his son who returned after making a mess of his life. This father saw him at a distance because he’d been watching for him, and even though he had no idea what his son was thinking yet – he didn’t care!
He called to the kitchen for someone to get food ready because his son was back – and he ran out to meet him! No probation, no restrictions – he was simply overjoyed to have his son back!
You may not know this, but this is a story Jesus tells to show how much God welcomes us! That God is eager just to be with us! No scolding or yelling – just being. Oh my gosh, I LOVE THAT!
That boy didn’t have to do a single thing but be there.
If you are a dad, or mom, and you do not welcome your child like this, for any reason, YOU are the one who’s not loving as God loves.
Even if it’s hard, even if it doesn’t make sense to you, even if the thoughts of their sexuality makes you hurt inside, don’t think about that. Just love your child.
If you are someone whose parent or family does not love you like this, hear me tell you: GOD DOES LOVE YOU LIKE THAT. God does NOT hate you, God has NEVER hated you, and God WILL never hate you. No matter who are you or what you’ve done. Those who tell you the opposite are mistaken. (Those who tell you the opposite do not experience God’s love like this either, or they would be happy for you to have it too.)
It sounds really strange, but sometimes people are afraid to hear how much God loves them.
So I was telling this story to my friend Madeline, to help her see that she had not at all disappointed God, but that God loves her, and her reaction shocked me.
Madeline recoiled. She physically pulled back. She said: “I hate when people tell me that. That God accepts me no matter what.”
Why? I wondered. Why in the world do people resist the idea that God loves them as is, period? Is it something about wanting to earn our own way, not receive a gift we didn’t do something to deserve? What piece in us needs to earn God’s unconditional love and acceptance?
I brought in the story from Jesus about God, because it is often those who claim to know God who resist this kind of love the most: they don’t show it and they don’t experience it.
If you have trouble accepting that God loves you right now as is, you might want to ask yourself why.
Now, Madeline had been told by her husband and church alike that God’s approval was conditional. It’s pretty common to hear that. Parents, spouses and churches often say this, because it’s what they were taught too. But let me tell you, it’s not true.
Why is it that people who believe Jesus came to give them vibrant life won’t let him give them vibrant life?
Weird.
Whatever is going on in you that keeps you from accepting this kind of love from God who just wants you, without condition, I invite you to just lay that down. As much as you can, set aside your fear, and ask God to show you the truth about God’s unconditional love.
I’d love to hear how it goes. 🙂
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