There are inherent challenges of growing up different, not only for the different one but for the family they grew up in—the challenge of a different child is its own payback!
In Women Who Run With The Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Women Archetype, author Clarissa Pinkola Estes speaks to that.
She is talking about the “wildish woman” – the one growing up different – but read it as if it’s about you. It makes it more fun that way.
“Sometimes life goes wrong for the wildish [LGBTQ person] from the beginning. Many [LGBTQ people] had parents who surveyed them as children and puzzled over how this small alien had managed to infiltrate the family. Other parents were always looking heavenward, ignoring or abusing the child or giving her the old icicle eye.
“Let those who have had this experience take heart. You have avenged yourself by having been, through no fault of your own, a handful to raise and an eternal thorn in their sides. And perhaps even today you are able to inspire them to abject fear when you come a knocking. That’s not too shabby as innocent retribution goes.
“See to it now that you spend less time on what they didn’t give you and more time on finding the people you belong to. You may not belong to your original family at all. You may match your family genetically, but temperamentally you may belong to another group of people. Or you may belong to your family perfunctorily while your soul leaps out, runs down the road, and is gluttonously happy munching spiritual cookies somewhere else.”
Stay true to yourself.
There’s a good chance you don’t know who that self is yet—you could be in a process of discovery that can take years or decades to unravel! That’s okay.
Life is actually an endless process of discovery—you’re right where you should be. The key is to seek your own true north. Ask yourself what really fits for you. Develop a keen relationship with your heart. Listen to it, and don’t dismiss what it tells you.
“Sin” (I use quote marks because the word is slippery, not easy to define across the board)…“sin” is not nearly as scary as never discovering your true heart.
Jesus did not come to eliminate sin but to free people to know and follow him. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1)
Don’t hesitate to appropriate freedom and expand your parameters.
That’s where life is lived best—outside the parameters.
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