7 Quick Takes — I Don’t Get It

7 Quick Takes — I Don’t Get It February 24, 2012

I’m a pretty smart lady. I mean, sometimes. But there are some things about life in these United States that I simply don’t understand. Here are seven, in no particular order.

7.

Fax Machines

I had to use them a lot when I worked for the Office for Peace and Justice in Chicago, and while I knew how to put the paper in, dial the number, and let the magic commence, I always stood there like a slack-jawed moron wondering just how it worked.

So it scans the paper for the information, but…but how does it send it? Is the endless string of beeps some kind of fax-machine Morse code?

I thought maybe I just didn’t get it because the heyday of the fax machine was the late 80’s when I was a toddler. But after a 40 minute conversation with my co-worker, involving a diagram and several trips to google, I remained baffled.

Fax Machines.

6.

Women who take hormonal birth control and buy hormone-free meat

This is just patently absurd. So it’s bad for animals to be jacked up on hormones, and you won’t eat that meat because then the hormones will be in your body? But it’s great for you yourself to be jacked up on hormones? Have you ever read the insert that comes with those pills? Take out your magnifying glass and give it try sometime.

You’re worried about extra hormones in your blood? Stop pumping yourself full of a class 1 carcinogen.

Kuddos to Katie for making this great button!

5.

Anime

What?

No, seriously. What is this?

I don’t get it.

4.

High Fashion

When I flip through a Vogue or Vanity Fair at my salon, and I see pictures like this:

I’m sort of confused. Am I supposed to want to look like this? As much as I like tweed, satin pants, and cowboy boots, I don’t think I’ll ever wear them all at the same time.

And the hair? All I can say is, I sure hope that’s a wig.

3.

People who don’t like Disney World

It’s the happiest place on Earth.

I submit to you all that if someone can’t have fun at Disney World, they probably can’t have fun anywhere.

2.

Self-Checkout at the grocery store

This is supposed to be a great time-saving device. However, whenever I use the self-checkout, I inevitably scan something twice, have to push a little button and then wait for an attendant to help me. Too bad she’s helping the five other people at the self-checkout, all of which accidentally scanned something twice.

Meanwhile, what’s really happened is that the grocery store is giving me the option of doing manual labor, so they don’t have to give someone a paid job doing it. Oh yeah, and I get to pay them for it.

It takes just as long and I don’t get to flip through People while I’m doing it. Lame.

1.

Vampires.

They seem to make a come-back every few years.

First this. Not your best look, Brad.

Then this. I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed all seven seasons, but mostly for the soap opera plots, and not for the blood-sucking.

Lest I be less than truthful, I have to admit my affinity for him:

But I like him better as Agent Booth than I did as Angel.

Then there’s this creeper.

And, lastly, most disturbing of all, is…

Yikes!

America, what’s up with the vampires? We don’t need to make them up as long as we have these folks to bleed us dry.

Ha! Happy Friday! Check out Jen for more quick takes.

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  • RE: #7 – isn’t that the truth!!!!!! Real life vampire = Nancy Pelosi or Barbara Boxer, right?

    LOL

    As for #1…I don’t know either how it works…but man do I love technology!

  • hahahaha I enjoyed these!

    I have some insight on the anime thing. I don’t know what that particular character is from, but anime is really a hit or miss thing. There are some fantastic anime tv series out there (not the lame americanized ones on cartoon network), as well as good anime movies. Just fyi 😛

    Also, I agree with your assessment of so called “high fashion.” It’s ridiculous. Nothing in those shows or collections ever actually end up worn by any normal person…..it’s pretty much a freak show competition. I want to see a show with actually clothes.

  • Kelly

    Hahaha so totally agree. I have no clue what the fascination is with anime either, but I have a few friends who are just so obsessed with it! Also, love your #6. So true.

  • 7 – Ugh at my last job I HATED our fax machine! It never worked! We were always having issues! We could receive faxes via our email but we couldn’t send them blah

    5 – I had some friends that were big into anime and I remember watching it once and it made me sleepy I hate reading subtitles thats too much work lol

    3 – OMG I know! When my mom found out she was up for a job in Florida the first thing she said to me was “we can get Annual Passes to disney world” which of course she bought us for christmas! We’re actually going down on Wednesday for the 24 hour leap day celebration and we’re meeting up with other disney Addicts. I’m in a few disney facebook groups and read disney blogs. A disney travel agent is even sponsoring my next giveaway!!

    2 – I have a love/hate relationship with self-check out also. I like it b/c I used to be a grocery store cashier so its like nostalgic to use it but man sometimes they are a PITA esp when I have coupons 🙁

  • Phones are what boggles my mind. Seriously… someone halfway across the world can call you and it’s’ like they are RIGHT THERE. Freaking miracle machine right there!

    As a former Wal-Mart cashier I can tell you that self checkouts were an invention of Satan himself.

    This is such a great idea for a post! I’ll have to get around to doing one like this!

  • This post is genius awesomeness. I heart every word! And seriously? Fax machines? It’s like magical magic from Star Trek. Except instead of beaming people it beams paper. Crazy!

  • These cracked me up, especially that last one! I admit to being a big fan of Booth as well. Want to know something sad? I’ve never been to Disney World.

  • Pat

    I look forward to taking the grand daughter to Disney World.

    Thank you for giving me things to think about.

  • Hah, some anime I like.. (like Ponyo) but I mostly don’t understand it. Or care to.

    Vampires. Ugh. Makes me think of Twilight. Lame.

    This made me laugh 😀

  • I totally agree with you on NFP and on self-checkout at the grocery store. I’ll pick a person over a computer any day. It’s even worse at the airport… we walked up to the lady behind the counter and she said we’d have to complete a self-checkin. She sat there behind the desk while I pushed all the buttons on the machine, and then when we’d finished that, she was ready to put the tags on the bags, which we then got to carry over to the baggage area. WHAT? If she’s sitting there the whole time, why do we have to use the machine??? As someone recently said on Facebook, customer service is a lost art!

  • Laura

    Hahaha! I don’t agree with #1 (though I like David better as agent Booth too :)) and I don’t really have a problem with self-check out, but the rest of the list: yes! Specially faxes

  • Hahahaha! I lol’d at the end! Good one! 🙂 I’m with you on all of them except for Disney. It’s chaotic and stresses me out. And I say the same thing about the hormone stuff too. All these women who are all about organic, but pumping themselves full of bc makes NO sense to me. Just proves how uneducated we are about the topic.

  • I got a real kick out of this list! I am also completely befuddled by fax machines. And I’m totally with you on the hormonal BC inconsistency. Nor can I handle Anime or anything Twilight-related. Your “bleed us dry” photo REALLY made me chuckle!