7 Quick Takes — I Don’t Get It

I’m a pretty smart lady. I mean, sometimes. But there are some things about life in these United States that I simply don’t understand. Here are seven, in no particular order.

7.

Fax Machines

I had to use them a lot when I worked for the Office for Peace and Justice in Chicago, and while I knew how to put the paper in, dial the number, and let the magic commence, I always stood there like a slack-jawed moron wondering just how it worked.

So it scans the paper for the information, but…but how does it send it? Is the endless string of beeps some kind of fax-machine Morse code?

I thought maybe I just didn’t get it because the heyday of the fax machine was the late 80’s when I was a toddler. But after a 40 minute conversation with my co-worker, involving a diagram and several trips to google, I remained baffled.

Fax Machines.

6.

Women who take hormonal birth control and buy hormone-free meat

This is just patently absurd. So it’s bad for animals to be jacked up on hormones, and you won’t eat that meat because then the hormones will be in your body? But it’s great for you yourself to be jacked up on hormones? Have you ever read the insert that comes with those pills? Take out your magnifying glass and give it try sometime.

You’re worried about extra hormones in your blood? Stop pumping yourself full of a class 1 carcinogen.

Kuddos to Katie for making this great button!

5.

Anime

What?

No, seriously. What is this?

I don’t get it.

4.

High Fashion

When I flip through a Vogue or Vanity Fair at my salon, and I see pictures like this:

I’m sort of confused. Am I supposed to want to look like this? As much as I like tweed, satin pants, and cowboy boots, I don’t think I’ll ever wear them all at the same time.

And the hair? All I can say is, I sure hope that’s a wig.

3.

People who don’t like Disney World

It’s the happiest place on Earth.

I submit to you all that if someone can’t have fun at Disney World, they probably can’t have fun anywhere.

2.

Self-Checkout at the grocery store

This is supposed to be a great time-saving device. However, whenever I use the self-checkout, I inevitably scan something twice, have to push a little button and then wait for an attendant to help me. Too bad she’s helping the five other people at the self-checkout, all of which accidentally scanned something twice.

Meanwhile, what’s really happened is that the grocery store is giving me the option of doing manual labor, so they don’t have to give someone a paid job doing it. Oh yeah, and I get to pay them for it.

It takes just as long and I don’t get to flip through People while I’m doing it. Lame.

1.

Vampires.

They seem to make a come-back every few years.

First this. Not your best look, Brad.

Then this. I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed all seven seasons, but mostly for the soap opera plots, and not for the blood-sucking.

Lest I be less than truthful, I have to admit my affinity for him:

But I like him better as Agent Booth than I did as Angel.

Then there’s this creeper.

And, lastly, most disturbing of all, is…

Yikes!

America, what’s up with the vampires? We don’t need to make them up as long as we have these folks to bleed us dry.

Ha! Happy Friday! Check out Jen for more quick takes.