I did not watch the Superbowl. I turned my back on America’s great unifying festival, in which citizens of all political persuasions, subcultures, creeds, and no-creeds set aside their differences for one night of football, snacks, and television commercials. I really have no excuse. My heart hasn’t been in football since the Packers flamed out, and I know that I would just torment myself with thoughts of what might have been. The half-time extravaganzas nearly always annoy me, and the prospect of Madonna putting on a show filled me with dismay. And watching the game solely to see the commercials would fill me with self-loathing. So I did something else. I am one of the few Americans to sink so low–I hope for my country’s sake that I am the only American to remain aloof from our moment of national unity.
So what did I miss?