ISIS “serves the best lattes and cappucinos around”

ISIS “serves the best lattes and cappucinos around” May 20, 2015

A propaganda booklet being circulated by ISIS promises great food, stylish technology, and cosmopolitan diversity.  The author, a British citizen named Abu Rumaysah al-Britani, then looks forward to the day when ISIS will takes over London, Paris, and Washington, D. C., “because not only will we spill your blood, but we will also demolish your statues, erase your history and, most painfully, convert your children who will then go on to champion our name and curse their forefathers.”  Bridget Johnson reports. . . .

From Bridget Johnson,  ISIS Lures Westerners to ‘Cosmopolitan’ Caliphate | PJ Media.

“In a time where the whole world has literally gathered against the Islamic State, I felt it was necessary to provide an alternative narrative to life under the Caliphate, which was free from many of the distortions pushed out by mainstream media,” Rumaysah writes, stressing that he wrote all of it while living “under the just shade of Islamic law in the Caliphate.”

He added that he hopes the book “becomes a valuable primary resource for future historians proving the superiority of Islam over all other ways of life,” and invites non-Muslims to “save themselves from hellfire.”

Rumaysah waxes about the videos of ISIS-laden Toyotas bashing through the desert and the “iconic scenes” of ISIS seizing the territory that would be declared its caliphate. “From the clever camera angles to the slow motion assassinations everything about the special effects scenes breathed Hollywood, and yet it was not, what we had instead was a powerful masterpiece that was Islamic to the core.”. . .

He launches into a whole chapter on food, telling would-be Islamic State residents they won’t be “living on stale bread and septic water.”

He describes “succulent” shawarma with mayo, “scrumptious” shish kebab, vegetarian options such as falafel on “wholesome flatbread,” and ‘ijaa — “a tempting choice for the bargain hunter” that subs fried eggs for falafel in a sandwich. The pickles “beat anything from your local Tescos or Walmart.” To drink, there are “very popular” fruity cocktails — “you can even spoil yourself by adding milk, sugar and crushed ice” — and “delightful, creamy and fresh” milk. “If you were worried about leaving behind your local Costa Coffee then you will be happy to know that the Caliphate serves some of the best lattes and cappuccinos around.”

For the jihadi sweet tooth, Rumaysah notes, ISIS ice cream is “fluffy, velvety and sweet” and “Snickers, Kit Kat, Bounty, Twix, Kinder Surprise, Cadburys — yes, yes we have it all.

However, if nothing he’s described “tickles your taste buds,” he assures readers that the continental cuisine there should expand as more Muslims immigrate from places around the world. “I cannot help but think that in the near future we will be eating curries and chow meins on the streets of Raqqah and Mosul.”. . .

Technology in the Islamic State including that which has created their “stylish and cool” media brand, he claims, is as “turbocharged” as their “drive for conquest.”. . .

He also asserts that the caliphate is poised for “leaps and bounds” in renewable energy technology. Still, he said, keep eyes “firmly on the battlefields for the real movers and shakers.”

“If you thought London or New York was cosmopolitan then wait until you step foot in the Islamic States, because it screams diversity,” begins a chapter about caliphate demographics and professionals lured by ISIS. “…I cannot see a Baltimore riot springing up here anytime soon and that is a dead cert, not because those in charge will deal with matters with an iron fist, but because there is no blur between right and wrong. What I mean by this is that citizens are not hypocritically led to believe that all cultures can coexist, and then have this belief torn apart by the bigoted reality on the ground.”

He also assures jihadists they will be popular among the people in occupied areas, who have been “understandably in euphoria” about ISIS “rolling in with the justice of the shariah.” As far as schools, “there are no cowboy academies here” and trainees need to “reach certain benchmarks.”

“This disclosure will, of course, be very comforting for Muslim parents who too want to take that plunge with their children and migrate to the Islamic State, and I hope it does act as a reassurance, because there is no better place to bring up your loved ones,” Rumaysah writes. “…There are no classes promoting homosexuality, evolution, music, drama, interfaith and the rest of the rubbish taught in non-Muslim schools.”

The final chapter declares “capitalism is dead.”

ISIS, says the British jihadi, is “incredibly dangerous” because of an “invaluable supply of human resources that has the critical mass to take its enemies to the point of exhaustion.”

“If history tells us anything it shows us that the pride of nations very often clouds their perception of the reality on the ground, and no one needs to understand this more than America,” Rumaysah writes. “…America simply does not have the stomach for the fight ahead, it is too long and difficult. Diehard followers of Western values will, no doubt, bite their fingertips in rage at this conclusion, but is it really that hard to believe? … No one saw the Islamic State coming and they are critically ill prepared for the tsunami lurking menacingly on the horizon.”

“As the Islamic State army edges closer and closer to Damascus and Baghdad, as a lion stalks its prey, watch closely at how defeat eats away at the loser, because these two cities are just appetisers. When we descend on the streets of London, Paris and Washington the taste will be far bitterer, because not only will we spill your blood, but we will also demolish your statues, erase your history and, most painfully, convert your children who will then go on to champion our name and curse their forefathers.”

 

 

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