The Ministry of Self-Defense

I’m not much of a martyr. I suffer from other complexes, I suppose, but the martyr complex isn’t one of them.

There is a self-indulgent martyr complex that’s killing us today. You exaggerate your injuries in the hope of eliciting sympathy. Sympathy gives you leverage. Contemptible, I think. But I’ve seen it pulled off with great aplomb. But I don’t think I could ever do it. I lack the gifts.

On the other hand, some of the original martyrs may be more difficult to understand. They wanted to actually die, physically that is, not to elicit sympathy, but to glorify God.

Generally, I’m not so ambitious; I’m inclined to let death come to me. There’s enough danger and hostility out there in the real world to deal with; no need to go looking for trouble.

And when it comes to trouble, I’m an advocate for defending yourself, with force if necessary.

But sometimes you lose, or you’re hopelessly outnumbered. In those situations, definitely die as a martyr, with the good confession on your lips, forgiving your enemies.

But if you can, avoid it. Defend yourself.

Here are a few reasons why self-defense is just, and even the loving thing to do.

Murder is a sin.

If I can prevent a murder (especially of me!), I have performed a good deed.

When you defend yourself, you are not just defending your own interests, you are defending the interests of all the people who depend upon you–your dependents.

I have a wife, I have children, I have parishioners, I have tenants (I’m a landlord, a merciful one). All of these people and more would be harmed if I allow someone to harm me.

Defending yourself checks a very ugly human propensity to get your jollies by pushing other people around.

Power is intoxicating, and inflicting suffering upon the defenseless isn’t always followed by remorse. Some people like it. If I can prevent the corruption of another person’s soul by preventing him from taking delight in my suffering, then I should.

If I really thought about it, I could think of more reasons why self-defense is both just and loving, but I think I should move on to how to do it in a just and loving manner.

First, self-defense should be measured.

We shouldn’t be like Cain and over-value ourselves. That’s the original intent of an eye-for-an-eye, to put a cap on retribution. Yes, I remember what MLK said about blind and toothless people. But here I am talking about preventing the crime in the first place.

In an actual self-defense scenario, this is easier said than done. Sometimes people with no background in the use of weapons will say something stupid like, “Why didn’t he just shoot him in the foot, why did he shoot him in the chest?” If you’ve ever handled a handgun, or actually been in a physical confrontation with the adrenaline pumping, you wouldn’t say something like that.

Nevertheless, a measured response is a just response, it is the ideal. The goal is not to inflict more harm than you must.

Second, learn how to bark.

The first line of defense should be verbal. Give a warning; let people know you’re willing to meet force with force.

Warnings can even be nonverbal, how you carry yourself, the look in your eye, those things. I’m not talking about the conflicts we encounter in the normal course of daily life. For those the proverb, “A soft answer turns way wrath” is exactly what is called for. I’m talking about dealing with someone with real intent to physically harm you.

Third, maintain your boundaries.

This is somewhat like my last point, but it has more to do with how you conduct yourself just in the normal daily course of life. I think it is based on two convictions.

The first is self-respect. Self-respect isn’t pride, it is based on the same respect you should have for other people and their boundaries. You’ve just extended it to yourself.

And second, you know there are takers out there, people who will take whatever they can get away with taking.

Sometimes you let it go, you go the extra mile, turn the other cheek. But this is grace, remember, no one has a right to grace. Scripture is clear, first comes the law, then comes mercy. Reverse that and you’ll find yourself in a relationship that grows more and more abusive.

Finally, walk away when you can and should.

Don’t let your pride turn you into a fool.