Mom, You Are Not Broken.

When our bodies break, or the guilt of our past mistakes overwhelms us, we as moms can judge ourselves harsher than anyone else can. Our goal is to never let anyone down, especially our children. When we do, we see ourselves as a mom who is broken.

But sisters, this mindset is not sustainable. We cannot let circumstances fire us from our God-given job of being a mom. With God’s Word and love, we can let go of the broken label and view our weaknesses as much more than they appear to be.

Nesting.

Have you ever watched a mama bird gathering her nesting materials? How beautiful it is to watch her as she prepares. Seeing the care that she takes in choosing only the right sticks and foliage as she knits together the perfect habitat for her babies.

Many of us mothers have been through the nesting phase when we were expecting our little ones-

Expecting.

This one word holds so much. ‘Expecting’ not only marks our stage in life when we’re pregnant, but it also serves as our mindset throughout the rest of our lives as a momma.

We expect and carry all the what-coulds and shoulds and just in cases because we have to. It’s our job to expect, plan, and ready until our children can do so on their own.

From all the milestones and hoorays to tummy aches and heartaches, our readiness is the shield we provide to protect them; it’s how we care.

But what about when our own bodies fail us? Or our marriages? Or our finances? What happens when we are not prepared for the unpreparable?

Not Again.

Ever since my oldest daughter was toddling around, I have endured almost 20 surgeries, life-altering injuries and illnesses, mostly due to a connective tissue disorder.

Before she was even two years old, my endometriosis was so severe that I could not stand upright or pick her up.

When she was just three years old, I began having surgeries to regain my sight, this process lasted for two years. Given the nature of my connective tissue disorder, I will absolutely have more surgeries in the future to shore up my implanted lenses.

Due to a severe car accident where I injured my spine, I lost my ability to walk last year, and had to have two spinal surgeries. While I am walking again, the pain has returned and I am awaiting next steps for more possible surgeries and treatment.

Out of Commission

As a mother, surgeries mean more times when I am out of commission, more appointments, more recovery, and more physical therapy. More missed moments.

More of asking our loved ones: “Can you please hand me this? Can you please help me with my laundry? Can you please pour the milk?”

My times of hardship always seem to hit as the holiday season begins, making it near impossible for me to fully invest in the spirit of the season and do all that I want to as a mom.

As uncertainty looms I think: Back to being a broken mom again.

Perhaps you can relate? You’re given a diagnosis or not given one at all but you still hurt, and fear, anxiety, and shame roll in. In an attempt to prepare, you begin to hurriedly do everything you can to steady your family for your absence.

We Do Not Plan: He Does.

But there are things we just cannot plan for. Ultimately, our children’s lives and all that impacts them are not really under our control.

Our kids are in way better hands than ours!

We think we have the agenda as moms, but as God’s Word states:

In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.- Prov. 16:9

Let’s address some broken thinking so as to provide encouragement in our seemed brokenness.

1. Even Knowing the Bad Ahead of Time, God Still Chose You to be Your Child’s Mom.

If we were God, and we foreknew that our bodies and hearts would break, we might have decided against being a parent. No one wants their pain to cause their child pain.

But for His good purposes: the God of the universe has allowed it.

He sovereignly saw the horrible thing(s), and deemed them not only permissible, but for use for GOOD in your child’s life (and yours).

You HATE this. God is using it. Once we see it this way, we can trust and move forward.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.- Romans 8:28

2. We are Called to Model Our Weakness

Moms, you model so much daily. Traits like manners and the fruit of the Spirit, so why not show your weaknesses while you are at it? Hear me out, in doing this, you are actually modeling your strength!

Remember:

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor. 12:10

We do not want our babies to suffer one bit, but this world is not our home and suffering is going to happen no matter what we do to stop it. Suffering is growth.

So why not show them God’s strength in your own burdens, your own sickness, and your own pain?

An upside? Your children get to practice grace and compassion for you and see it displayed in others ministering to you. How important that is!

They get to witness:”By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

3. You’re Not Broken…

My sister in Christ, I would like to share with you what I believe was encouragement from the Lord for my heart and I hope yours.

You’re not broken, you are in repair.

You’re being repaired, being rehabilitated, undergoing remodeling, being restored, refinished, etc.

Listen, a setback means you are still in the race. People say that, “life is a marathon, not a sprint” and while I have never done a marathon, I have seen one! Runners have to stop and fix all kinds of things. They constantly adjust and adapt.

You Are Still a Mom

We can still be moms in whatever circumstances we are in. Your role as a mom has not changed. It just looks different. Now your people get to rally for you, the Church steps in, and you get to see Christ in action in tangible ways.

Just think of yourself with a cute: “Pardon my dust, I’m growing for the Kingdom!” sign around your neck!

When we see a hurt animal at a rehab facility, we do not see them as broken- we see them as being helped!

I love coo-coo clocks, but those things are always at the shop. When we send ours in, we don’t say it’s broken at the shop, we say it’s being fixed!

We Can’t Always Be Fixin’ To

I’m from Texas, and we like to say: “I’m fixin to go to do such and such…” Fixing is in our very vernacular! We want to fix, but sometimes we need to be fixed, y’all.

Last Christmas and Thanksgiving, I was recovering from a spinal fusion and was relegated to my recliner and my heating pad.

Even though I am too short to be at eye level with folks, I certainly was not last year. So I embraced the stillness of the chair-level conversation. I let people help me. 20 years of this life makes you really good at letting people bless you. Praise God!

“More Than Conquerors”

Satan wants us to stop and cease all our motherhood at the label “broken”.

But we must not for our children’s sake allow this to be who we are. It is in our weakness, it is in what the world sees as broken that God is doing His best work!

Let us adjust our mindset and rest in His care knowing we are not broken. In fact, we are “more than conquerors!”

 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

My friend, if you are a believer, then first of all: you are healed for all time. So whether or not you receive healing on this side of Heaven or not- you are good! Give your children the peace of knowing you are saved if you have not done so already.

This is the BEST way to prepare your family.

If you liked this article please share and comment below!