Unconscious Me

My friend Megan asked me tonight if I was taking enough “me time.”

We were at a benefit dinner for CitySprouts, an organization in Cambridge that puts amazing vegetable gardens in every public school and then lets kids plant, water, harvest and get dirty.  Great organization. Fun dinner with friends.

My first reaction to Megan’s question was to get all judgmental  Me time?  What kind of privileged, self-absorbed worldview allows you to worry about your ratio of me time.  But this bout of self-righteousness took place while I was drinking wine, staring at Matt Damon’s brother, who was at our table and is not hard on the eyes. eating great food, wearing clean clothes, and out with my awesome husband while TWO awesome women were home with CutiePie and the boys.

So I could hardly answer that I didn’t think about such things as me time, and I thought I would sound kind of stupid saying that I don’t get enough me time.  The whole night was a kind of me time. Still, with homeschool, work, CutiePie, and ADD husband, a dozen or so close friends nearby, and lots of half-started projects around the house, I don’t have the kind of time that I used to.  And adding “quality me time,” to the list of things I need to do would only make me feel more tired.

So what do I do to manage my busy and somewhat chaotic life?  I stay up late to enjoy some peace and quiet in my house.  Except that I am too tired to actually enjoy the time.  It starts around ten at night, and I am so determined to have time to myself that I stay up until one or two.  Doing what? Watching TV online, or blogging, or reading blogs, or playing Sudoku or KenKen online.

Most of which is a waste of time, and none of which is productive or even enjoyable when you are prying your eyes open to do it.  So for Lent, I have given up watching online TV and doing anything on the computer after midnight.

What’s this got to do with homeschooling, you wonder?  Well, if I am going to keep this up, I need to find a way to make it sustainable.  And watching House on Hulu at one in the morning is not sustainable.

So if you ask me during Lent if I am getting enough me time (okay, I see how that is an odd question to ask during Lent, but just imagine that you asked), then I will say yes.  I’m definitely getting enough me time.

I just won’t be conscious to enjoy it.