Un-bathing

Last week, I started a series on Social Stories and how we are using them to help the boys process typical social interactions.  In the first post, I included a sample story about making mistakes.  If you read it, you may have noticed that it contains no second person statements.  No directives either.  No good guys or bad guys.  Just people living on Planet Earth.

This is intentional.  (It would be hard to write such a boring story without intentionally removing all of the good parts.)  According to Carol Gray, the woman who developed Social Stories, “You” statements, directives, and good guys are manipulative and make the story unsafe for the listener.  Of ten criteria for Social Stories, the first and most important is that it not be manipulative.

Let me share parts of another Story, this one entitled, “Why People Take Baths or Showers.” Notice the lack of coercion.  It’s simply presenting information.

People take baths and showers.  They have been taking baths since 3,300 B.C. During the Roman Empire, people began taking baths as a daily ritual. Understanding why people take baths and showers may make it easier for me to take my bath/shower.

…Throughout history, people have taken baths or showers to get clean.  But why do they do this?

People take baths to get clean, or to feel or smell better.  Being clean, washing away dirt and germs, is a healthy habit.  For many people, being dirty is a little uncomfortable, even a little itchy.  Sometimes, dirty people smell bad.  A bath or a shower makes their skin feel comfortable again, and makes them smell better, too.

People also take baths because of other people.  They are concerned about what other people may think.  Since so many people think being clean is comfortable, just being around someone who is dirty or smelly can make them uncomfortable.  Many people don’t want to be around a dirty person for long.  And, they may not want to be friends with someone who is often dirty or smells bad.  So, people sometimes take a bath or shower so that other people will feel comfortable.

People have been taking baths throughout history.  I am a part of history.  By taking a bath or a shower, I may be more comfortable — and others will be more comfortable — as I make my mark on history.

I actually love this piece because it is respectful of the smelly kid who doesn’t seem to get it.  As Gray writes, “Chances are that the Audience has already been told what to do, perhaps many times.  Instead, the focus is on the underlying causes of frustration or misinformation.”

The goal of a Social Story is to share accurate information using a process, format, voice, and content that is descriptive, meaningful and physically, socially, and emotionally safe for the Audience.  Every Social Story has an overall patient and reassuring tone.

Which is exactly how I want everyone to treat my boys.

Everyone except me.  Because while I love these stories and think they are right on the mark, I’m not prepared for the boys to forgo bathing.  I’ll present this story, sure. But if they don’t use the information to draw the right conclusions, I’m going to fall back on “you” statements, directives, and good guys.

I might be considering un-schooling.  But the madness stops at un-bathing.