Keepies

Marbles have been around since ancient Egyptian times.  And as long as there have been marbles, there have been people playing games with marbles.  One version of the game, which began in America in the mid-1800s, is called keepies or for keeps. As the name suggests, whoever wins the game keeps the marbles. Unlike Monoply, where you put all of the money back in the box at the end of the game, or basketball, where regardless of who won you give the ball back at the end of the game to whomever brought it, when you play for keeps, there are stakes to winning and losing.

What’s this got to do with homeschooling?  If you read my last post, you’ll know that as Jeff was praying about how much time, energy, and money to ‘invest’ in Zach right now, he heard that we were “playing for keeps.”

I guess that’s kind of obvious, right?  All parents are playing for keeps. Our decisions have consequences, and we can’t always get our ball back at the end of the game.  Our lifestyles, our failures and triumphs, the lessons we teach or fail to teach, the schools we chose – they all matter.

But in a culture where parents are obsessed with their children, with getting the right enrichment experiences, arranging playdates with the right kind of kids, and doing whatever they can to get them into the right kinds of schools (starting in preschool), you can see why we might resist going overboard to help Zach manage the myriad issues he faces. We don’t want to be ‘helicopter parents,’ or ‘tiger parents,’ or otherwise indulgent, self-important, and neurotic.

Maybe it was time, we both wondered, to say, “Enough is enough. He’s a great kid.  So focus more on being the people God has called you to be and less on your son’s percentile scores.”

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that we weren’t doing enough.  And Jeff’s answer to prayer helped me to understand why.  It’s not always the case that just because less than one percent of one percent of the world can afford a certain therapy, you are selfish and indulgent if you chose to avail yourself of it.  It’s not always the case that spending lots of time working with your kid is a sign that you are determined for them to better and brighter than all the other kids. Sometimes, it’s just that you are playing for keeps and the stakes are high.

In our case, it seems that the stakes are these:

• If you have trouble understanding the big picture in a story, it’s hard to make sense of the Bible.
• If you have trouble building relationships with people, it’s hard to develop a relationship with God.
• If you are impulsive and anxious, it’s hard not to do things that put you in harm’s way.

Of course, I have to believe that God can get around all of this – and does with many people.  In our case, though, it appears that God wants us to do some of the heavy lifting along with him.

Which is why, to go back to my last post, I’m quitting work.  On my way out the door on my last day I might hang up a sign that reads, “Tara is not here anymore.  She’s off playing keepies with her boys.”