A Conversation with My Eighteen-Year-Old Granddaughter

A Conversation with my Eighteen-Year-Old Granddaughter

I spend a great deal of time with teens. Yes, by choice. I remember once asking the only student in the senior class who had not yet turned 18 about his birthdate. He told me the date in August when he would reach the mark. I answered, “Oh, my birthday is in August, too, only half a century before yours.” I wish you could have seen his chin drop. Not that he meant to be rude, but it was obviously a shock to him. That was the first time ever I knew this young man to be without words!

Half a century …

I love teenagers, even when they think I couldn’t possibly understand them. It’s true, things are different now than they were when my children were teenagers, and more different yet than when I was a teenager … half a century ago. 

But they say the more things change the more they remain the same …

Or biblically, “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

Chatting with My Granddaughter

Several days ago, my eighteen-year-old granddaughter was visiting. She has a lot of piercings. She has tattoos. There is no jean fabric covering her knees. She is a little preoccupied with finding a roommate for fall. That’s a funny process, kind of like an online dating source where students fill out profiles and describe themselves, and then send requests to those with whom they would like to “chat.”

Somewhere in the holiday chaos, my granddaughter and I found a moment to chat for real, just the two of us, and I asked her about her plans after graduation in May. I asked if she was allowed to have a car on campus, if she had applied for scholarships, if she was going to get a job, and what she planned to study. Some things she was very clear about: she is going to study management, possibly sports management. She likes my rather modest Ford and would like to have one similar to it. She intends to get a job, hopefully on or near campus. 

When she talked about leaving home, she teared up. She said it was too soon to think about that. Her family is big and close, so I’m sure she is overwhelmed. Instead of pursuing the difficult topic, she showed me her tattoos (cute, small ones): a ladybug for every member of her family (her nursery was decorated in ladybugs, and her momma and daddy both have a ladybug tattoo to represent her), a penny for her sister who bears that name (she explained that E Pluribus Unum means “out of many, one,” and that was symbolic), and a locket with the initials of her dogs, one past and one present. 

She told me that she intends to work, that she will probably find someplace like a coffee shop, apply, then go everyday and tell them that she is a good, hard worker, that she is loyal and reliable, that they need her. She said she will be a pest, and giggled about it.

Persistence 

I smiled. Persistence is not a bad thing. I told her, “the Bible gives a precedence”:

“And He said to them, ‘Which of you shall have a friend, and go to him at midnight and say to him, Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me on his journey, and I have nothing to set before him’;  and he will answer from within and say, Do not trouble me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give to you?  I say to you, though he will not rise and give to him because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs. So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened’” (Luke 11:5-10).

“Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: ‘In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, Grant me justice against my adversary. For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!  And the Lord said, ‘Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?’” (Luke 18:1-8).

My granddaughter listened, asked me for the scripture references, and typed them into her phone. 

She is back home now, 750 miles away. Last night I sent her a few more verses:

James 1:12: “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” 

Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Romans 5:3-4: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope”

Hebrews 10:36: “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

She responded with a heart and the message, “Nighty-night. I love you.”

Different, or Not

Yes, things are different than they were half a century ago, but I know some things for certain.  Tattoos, piercings, and hol-y jeans do not bar the gates of heaven or dull the ears of God or diminish His love. Half a century later, He’s still the God who gave when I asked, revealed when I sought, and opened the door when I knocked.

God bless my precious granddaughter, and God bless all our teens. It’s not an easy world to navigate. Reveal Yourself to each one, and guide them by Your gentle, righteous hand.