10 Life Hacks To Try If You Favor “Outsiders” with “No Experience”

4. Brain surgery–call the insurance 800-number. So you’ve got a tumor… it’s in a precarious position. And sure, a millimeter too far in either direction could affect your speech center, your vision, or some other critical function. But why give those fancy neurosurgeons with their decades of education and experience the SATISFACTION of getting to cut your head open? Surely your general practitioner could do it. Or better yet, the girl who answers the phones. I mean, she spends 40-plus hours a week in the proximity of medical practice, so surely she knows some stuff. And wouldn’t you rather have her, in all her un-intellectualized purity, perform this procedure? After all, she has not been tainted by the system.

5. Childcare–enlist the pizza guy. Because you had plans tonight and your sitter cancelled. So when the newly-drivers-licensed delivery kid shows up, why not just ask him to stay and watch the kiddos? He may or may not have ever held (or spoken to) a child before. He may or may not be high. He may or may not stop playing Pokemon long enough to stop your kid from playing with matches. But hey–he’s THERE, and that counts for something.