21 Signs You Might Be a Terrible Christian

I had a discussion with someone today who told smugly told me how much he loved when Mormons came to his door, so he could put them in their place. I said, “Aren’t those usually young kids just trying to fulfill their required mission?”

“Yep,” he said. “And they need to learn something about messing with a true Christian.”

It was on the way home I was thinking about this list.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely no one’s shining example of Christianity. But I still think there are some cultural examples of faith that actually hurt our cause (some would argue that blogs like this are one!). For the most part, I will admit that this is a list of things I find terribly annoying with a wonderful click-bait title (blogging wannabes take note).

You might be a terrible Christian if:

1. You love to put Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses in their place when they come knocking
2. You think the original language of the Bible was King James
3. You’re a one-issue voter
4. You think a banana is atheist kryptonite
5. You have ever said, “We should just turn that place into a parking lot (or glass).”
6. You demand that the culture caters to your holiday preferences
7. You think Jesus is a proponent of unregulated, free-market capitalism
8. You blame women when men lust
9. You have a foreign policy which gives Israel an unconditional free pass
10. You believe success and wealth are a sign of God’s approval
11. You have an “it’s all going to burn anyway” mindset about the environment
12. You don’t believe you have to leave a tip because you tithe (or else you leave a tract)
13. You think you’re a scientist because you read some Ken Ham books
14. You think your theology makes you an expert on sociology, psychiatry, sociology, anthropology, etc.
15. You think you’re being persecuted because someone disagrees with you
16. You think you can separate your business practice from your Christian convictions
17. You think you’re a really good example of Christianity
18. You think you’re exempted from Christ’s call to love your enemies
19. You want to end abortion and welfare
20. You laughed when Sarah Palin said, “Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”
21. You think atheists just don’t believe in God because they’re mad at him

What did I miss? Leave me a comment. Feel free to also leave comments like, “Who do you think you are Mr. Judgmental!?”, “Humility demands that I say that I’m a terrible Christian”, “When you criticize the church,” and “No one’s good except the Lord. Therefore, we’re all equally terrible.”