I am not thankful for the struggle with weight. When I was nineteen, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries. It is a hormonal disorder that causes weight gain among other side effects. It was a relief to find that the defining struggle of my teenage years was not just lack of discipline but physiological. But damage to my self-concept and to my relationship with food had already been done. I had missed the sports and games of young life because I had been so self-conscious about my body. To my mother’s relief and my deep disappointment, I didn’t date, and was uncomfortable around men. I learned to live a life in my mind and heart that was outside of my body because my body was not a place I wanted to live. I missed a lot of life because of my weight.
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