He Stomped Her and Gave Her Chlamydia. But at Least She Has a Boyfriend!

The below just came in as a comment to my Seven Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships, and How to Defeat Each One of Them.

Young woman who wrote this: Read the whole article. Okay? Read. It.

And then get the bleep out already.

Know this, girl: Your “boyfriend” needs you a lot more than you need him. He’s just afraid you’ll realize that and leave his stupid, cowardly ass. Do, and do. Quit being the sponge this vain clown pisses on.

I am sooooooooo tired of getting emails like this. And from a girl who’s only twenty-three?

Girl: Join us out here in Sanity Land. You’ll love it out here.

Out here, women don’t get beaten up. And if ever they do—if ever someone from Bullshitville crosses over into our world, and plys his ugly trade here—we men who are good surround that bad, severely mistaken man, and help him finally and forever understand why it’s so wrong for one person to ever hit another.

Join us! Come on over! You’ll love it over here!

And we’ll love you.

Here’s the letter this girl wrote this morning:

I haven’t read the whole article as yet, but everything your saying is true. i find it so strange that the exact same things you’re saying is the exact same thing i am going through. i have been in my relationship for 7 years and I am 23. we were very young when we both meet but I fell in love instantly even though his friends warned me he was a ladies man and all that, that he wasn’t one to be trusted. he never showed that side to me. he was always warm, loving, very dependable, he was my best friend. i never knew what love felt like until i met him. of course i had my suspicions girls calling all the time, he locking his phone so i won’t get into it. When he started to go to a different university to me, that’s when things took a turn for the worse. I would see messages from girls saying they miss him and they want to be with him, and when i confronted him about it he would get defensive and didn’t want to talk about it. we eventually moved in together, and that’s when the fighting start. first it was verbally, mostly on my part because i was angry with his infidelities. i would quarrel for hours then cry myself to sleep. Then i started to lash out at him because he would remain silent when i accused him. he never fought back. but i was hurt, emotionally, physically and mentally drained.

One day he eventually hit me and stomped on my chest so hard i could not breathe, and i coughed up blood. This was the first time he hit me and it won’t be the last. Once he even told me the truth about his infidelities, and i left promising never to return. But i stupidly did, i hate the fear of being alone and he use to make me feel wanted. Give me just enough love to keep me coming back and i still stayed even when everybody even my family members were telling me he was cheating on me, even my younger cousin (whom he did not know was my cousin)said he tried to come on to her. it just got from bad to worse. some months ago i found out i had chlamydia, and i have never slept with anyone but him and i found out late and even thought i took the antibiotics i might not be able to have children of my own.

Currently, i am sleeping on the couch because the latest is he had sex twice with one of his study partners on our bed. I don’t know how much more i could take of this, i keep telling my self after i graduate i would leave him because i am just not strong enough right now. For years i have been telling myself there is a good side to him and he would change. But there is a fear and out of everything I’ve been through i think the emotional and mental abuse has been the worse. at least with the physical i could see the scars that reminds me, but the emotional i can’t see the scars until now.

Reading this article has opened my eyes to my denial of emotional and mental abuse and i just can’t seem to leave and i know why i stayed, because he instills fear in me.

For the times he’s told me that i would never make it on my own and nobody would want somebody like me and he is the only one who could put up with my behavior and no man would ever love me and i would end up miserable and alone. I’m afraid to be alone. The times he told me i can’t do anything for my self and i don’t have enough money to live on my own and my own car to get around and what would my family think of me. I have been in an abusive relationship for years and never realized what it has done to me.

This is not the person i want to be for the rest of my life and i intend to do something about it. Thanks very much

[Oh, and if you’re on Facebook, go vote for Encinitas Community Resource Center on this Facebook poll. My wife works for CRC. They help change the lives of victims of domestic violence.]