As my regular readers know, I never, ever, in even the slightest possible way, exaggerate. So you can believe me when I tell you that yesterday a vulture tried to gobble my visage. I was on my health walk. I was on a trail in the mountains near where I live, probably a mile and a half from any home, building, or anyone who might be carrying a vulture swatter. I was enjoying the nature around me, right up until the... Read more
In response to yesterday’s piece, Sunday School: What a Drag. Literally!, I got a note from a reader that had the reprehensible quality of compelling me to cogitate. I am anti-cogitation! Cogitation is an abomination of an irritation that brings procrastination if not consternation to the creation and assimilation of my situation. The thrust of Mr. Communication’s question to me was, “Why are you so negative? First you wrote about how badly Christians treated your wife, then about how your... Read more
The post you are looking for is included in HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor. If you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime, you can borrow HA! for free, with no due dates. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s where to get one. To learn more about Amazon Prime—and to get a one-month free trial—go here. ) As per Amazon’s rules, content included in the Kindle Lending Library program... Read more
Below are the minutes of the first Official Meeting (done cyberistically, of course) of the John Shore Facebook Fan Club. (Names of club members have been changed to protect the totally obnoxious innocent.) John: Order! Order! The first official meeting of the John Shore Facebook Fan Club will now commence. I’m your host and object of your unfettered adoration, John Shore. Welcome! Fan: I don’t think “comence” is how you spell that. Other Fan: It’s not. Third Fan: Has anyone... Read more
I have been deeply affected by anecdotes that readers left in response to my last piece, Black Like Us (which, if anyone cares, I’ve rewritten numerous times since its initial post), wherein they shared moving experiences they’d had in which skin color played the salient role. Here are a few of the stories people left: “It was summer 1975, and I was visiting a distant relative in Charlotte, NC. She was an elderly lady. One day I heard her speaking to... Read more
One of my earliest memories is of watching white legs dance. I was two years old, sitting on the floor beside a stereo during a summer afternoon party in Nashville. Before me were many dancing adults; hence, from my view, the moving trees of White Legs Forest. On the floor beside me was the cover of the Chubby Checker album playing. I looked at the photo of the smiling, besuited black man happily frozen in mid-twist. I looked back at... Read more
I cried today—which, for me, is like a vulture saying, “I tried tofu today.” I use my tear ducts so rarely I wasn’t even sure I still have them. But there I was, standing in my little voting booth this morning, staring at the words, “Barak Obama and Joe Biden.” And suddenly I was seeing through water. The constant, overwhelming emotions I feel about this election have virtually nothing to do with politics. They have instead everything to do with sheer... Read more
Good morning, all! Speaking of which, what time is it? I used to know—but then the government made us go on (or is it off?) Daylight Saving Time. Hmmm. Government. Savings. Oh, no. It’ll probably be dark in fifteen minutes. Anyway, hello! I’m back from my blogcation! I shudder to think of the suffering caused you by my absence. Well, maybe not shudder. But I am vibrating like a giant, flesh-covered cell phone. Ew. Sorry. Gross image. Unless you’re an... Read more
With all of my heart, I wish everyone was Christian. I wish divorce, drug abuse, alcoholism, spousal abuse, racism, and every sort of the exploitation and moral degradation amidst which we all live everyday was gone forever, burned away in the bright light of God’s infinite, immediate love for each and every one of us. But I don’t live in a place where that’s what’s happening. I live in this place. This world. This country. Many in America are, as... Read more
Yesterday a visitor to my blog left this comment for me (on, weirdly, my “My YouTube Videos” page): “How could any ‘christian’ [sic] even consider voting for anyone other than Senator McCain!” In that challenge there’s much implied and assumed—but I doubt its author was looking for an in-depth conversation about, say, the differences between a democracy and a theocracy. She was being personal. So, speaking personally: I like John McCain. I’m not thrilled with the way he’s handled this... Read more
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