Find rest, my soul…

“But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure.” Psalm 71:14-15

Here I am again. Learning lesson after lesson. Wasn’t I just here last week? Last post? Wasn’t I just sitting and fearing, sitting and wondering, asking, doubting?

Yet I am the small child who is gently disciplined by her father. I am the little girl who is taken aside, rebuked, and taught the truth in lessons of lovingkindness. 

I held Eliot again last night. I held him and wept and told him I was sorry. I told him that it would be okay, and hours later, holding him once again, I found these words of life: “…do not forsake me when my strength is gone.” 

And there the truth hits, grabs, holds on, lingers, and transforms in the dark corner of my son’s tiny bedroom. He will not forsake me. 

This means that He will not abandon or give up.

Once again I learn these lessons. Tomorrow I will doubt, and tomorrow I will be taught as a child is taught, not to fear, not to worry when sickness strikes or brokenness shatters my little heart.

Today I will be the proud daughter who hopes in and proclaims of the goodness of her Papa.