The Virtual Addict: Poop for brains

You have undoubtedly heard the story already about the mother in Colorado who was on Facebook, hanging out in Cafe World while her 13-month-old son drowned in the bathtub.

The 34-year-old mother told police that her son was very independent. She said in the weeks prior to his death the baby had made it clear he wanted to be left alone. 

If that were true and there is no way it is, I suspect it’s because even at 13-months the toddler realized his mother had poop for brains.

She probably changed her status updates more than she did his droopy diapers.

How much you wanna bet she fed the animals in Farmville on a more regular schedule than she did her own child?

 She certainly spent more time chatting with friends in Cafe World than she did interacting with her own son.

I don’t have a clue what Cafe World is or why anyone — even those with poop for brains — would put a 13-month old in a bathtub & leave them there, alone, for any reason.

According to Facebook (which put up the disclaimer that they didn’t develop the App), there are 17,265,093 people hanging around Cafe World at any given time. Facebook refers to them as “active users.” I think the more accurate terminology would be virtual addicts.

17, 265, 093 addicts.

That’s like having all the people in New York City and some New Jersey neighbors hanging out in the same Starbucks on any random Saturday afternoon snorting foam.  

Too much noise.

Too many distractions.

Any person, even a person with a Harvard education and the DNA of Einstein, couldn’t think in a place like that.

They’d all have poop for brains.

We keep expecting our enemies to show up on the subway with a beard and a backpack full of explosives, and instead he comes disguised as a Pink-haired Troll catering to us right in the comfort of our own dining room.

Cafe World bills itself as “A fun & fantastic game in which you can spend your time running your own virtual cafe!” Perhaps a more fitting description would be “Cafe World: A game in which you can spend your time ruining your own real world.”