Kelley Mathews
3. How do you as a survivor handle the emotional and spiritual stress that writing and publicizing a book like this wears on you?
Mary: That’s a good question. This time around, I knew beforehand that I needed to create emotional space before the launch. Though it hasn’t been entirely restful, I have tried to take July off in anticipation of the book’s release. I also have a prayer team that prays me through every book, which has been a huge boon to my heart over the years. I have also had to remove my email from nearly everything, limiting my contact with readers. (Even so, I get a lot of stories from people over my social media channels, at least five stories a day of abuse. There are times I cannot handle it and I have to disconnect entirely. My empathetic soul gets easily weighed down).
4. Ideally, who will read and implement the content in We Too? In a perfect world, of course.
Mary: Anyone who is a church attender who wants to see change in this area. But particularly, church leaders. I believe getting this right will usher in a new era of reformation and revitalization of the church. These types of movements come at the heels of remorse and repentance. I believe the church needs to acknowledge how it has harmed the broken in their midst, repent of it, and begin to listen to those who have walked away. We need to stop demanding healing in convenient timelines. We need to truly understand the nature of trauma when we encounter a sexual abuse survivor. No amount of cliche and Bible Band-aids will easily “heal” someone who has walked a traumatic path.
5. Identify one primary action a church leader or leadership team should take when an accusation of sexual abuse is brought to them.
Mary: From the front of the church, tell the stories of those who have survived sexual abuse and/or domestic violence.
6. What’s the primary mark of a safe church?
Mary: That they have child safety policies and procedures, and know what they would do if someone reported abuse. That they would err on the side of believing someone who comes forward. That they would seek to become a healing community (pointing toward counseling, teaching how to walk the healing journey from the pulpit, training lay people to care well, finding good community resources to refer to).
7. What are your hopes for the impact of We Too?
Mary: That our churches would be revived on the heels of honest confession and repentance. No more hiding. No more pretending this is not an issue in “our church.”
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