Devastated by your joy

Devastated by your joy August 2, 2012

I am leading with my pain today so I pray you will forgive the undercurrent of anger in my words.

Love does not require that I passively and silently receive blow after blow of the clinched fist of ignorance. Love requires that I speak truth in the face of hate masquerading as faith.

Here is my truth – I am so very sad to see the throngs of people lining up at Chick-Fil-As around the country. The pain in my heart radiates to every fiber of my being. I am heartbroken to see so many “Christians” enjoying the pain they are inflicting on their neighbors. It is a travesty of the faith we share to tell the Cathys, and the world, that I indeed am a second class citizen in my own country, that my family is worth less than theirs and that my children should be ashamed when they begin school on Monday morning when it comes time to tell their peers about their family. Every waffle fry you buy, every nugget your feed your children tells them that it is ok to bully that kid who is a little different. It might just be telling them that you won’t love them if they are gay. Every smug sip you take from that lemonade tells the world that your version of following Christ includes inflicting pain on your neighbor. That is not the Christ I know from scripture, community or the experience of Grace. That is not The Way of the Cross.

Let me be very clear once again, this is not about freedom of speech, this is not just a difference of opinion – this is about the real lives of families around the country. Your neighbors, your sisters, your brothers – maybe even your own children. It’s NOT Cathy’s words that are the problem, though they are painful for sure. It’s his millions of dollars given to organizations that dehumanize children of God. It is about using his faith as an excuse to fund the politically motivated lies of the Family Research Council. It is about my sisters and brothers in Christ subsidizing ignorance and fear with every purchase of fried chicken and lemonade. That little ice cream cone dripping in your hand, it pays for the a society where I must remain genuinely afraid for myself and my children. Your package of waffle fries ensures that friends will be denied access to loved ones as they lay dying in hospital rooms and a neighbor may never see a penny of her wife’s retirement or that children could be ripped from their homes. It is not just a difference of opinion and it is NOT about freedom of speech, unless of course you mean to silence my dissent.

And this rhetoric about gays vs. Christians is duplicitous. There are millions of Christians who do not believe as the masses in line yesterday. My denomination – the UCC – represents more than a few of these Christians. And I am not just talking about so-called “liberal” or “progressive” Christians. My meemaw, one of the finest Christians I’ve known, a baptist born and raised in the south, would not have stood in line to spend her money on pain. Instead she would have followed Jesus into prayer to ease the suffering unfurling in the flags of political posturing. I grew up at her feet and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that as she looked to God to understand the world we’ve been given she would have claimed compassion, she would have claimed love.

It is shallow to claim that we should not be shocked since Chick-Fil-A has always been clear about their Christian foundation. It is one thing to be closed on Sunday and to train employees in kindness and responsible living it is a whole different kind of Christian who gives millions of dollars to suppress the rights of millions of American citizens. And it is a whole different kind of Christian that takes pleasure in contributing to these coffers.

Praise be to God that MY Christian foundation is always shocked by hate.

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241 responses to “Devastated by your joy”

  1. With divorce up to all time highs, and marriage to all time lows… seeing a couple, of whatever sexuality, respect their vows of marriage and try to be the very best they can to each other makes marriage itself a stronger institution.

    It reminds me of my own parents… though my father is an atheist and my mother a non-practicing baptist, both of them have stayed together for more than 40 years. Compared to the mayfly marriages of many Christian couples I know… I think I’ll look to your marriage, or to my parents’, for an inspiration when it comes time for the ring to be upon my finger.

  2. You are truly a Blessed woman, with a heart full of love and compassion. If only the world had more people like you in it, it would be so much more beautiful.

    Thank you for the gift of you!!

    • Thank you Linda, what an amazingly kind and humbling comment. Peace be with you!

  3. The Christians that are eating at Chick-Fil-A are not doing it because they hate the LGBT group. They are doing it because they support the traditional view of marriage defined in the Christian faith as the union between 1 man and 1 woman only. Christians are not called to hate. They are called to love people and hate sin. The sexual act of men with men and women with women is sin because it takes away the potential for human life to begin. Marriage is not only a union for people to love each other but also for the creating, raising, and protection of children. In a traditional view, that can only happen between 1 man and 1 woman.

  4. I just read this to Daddy. I would ‘sneak” glances as I was reading it to him and his brow furrowed more and more. When I finished reading it aloud, I looked up at him…He stood in stunned silence, which is rare for him. When he did speak it was with words of shock and genuine concern, “Mmmm, what happened to Jesus’ love?”, with his brow still furrowed. This from a true southerner, a man raised in a holiness Pentecostal church, a mason. A man who worked his fingers to the bone to raise his family, never ONCE thinking of himself. The product of this is my sister Kimberly and me. And this truly hurts him…his daughter hurting and not treated equally. THAT is Love. The Love Christ talked about. Unbiased and real.

    • Oh my. Jessica, reading this struck a chord so deep, cracked open my heart so that I was unable to read it aloud to my wife. Thank you for reading it to daddy and thank you for sharing his response here. Really, really – I love y’all!

  5. You know, my beliefs here are in flux, though predisposed to conservative, but I really want to say my heart goes out to you. It scares me, the amount of bullying and hate crimes that could be traced back to a traditional mindset, and I wonder how to proceed with my honest beliefs while still being truly compassionate and loving, and defending the rights of LGBT to not live in fear.

    As a side note, I think some of those who make their anti-gay views public are doing it out of conviction, and not for hate; it may even feel like an uncomfortable or risky necessity for them.

    • Joel,

      I really appreciate you taking the time to comment here even though your perspective might not be met with a lot of acceptance. Please know this about me (and I speak only for myself). I do not want to change anyone’s faith. I do not want to force any church to marry a couple their faith tells them they can not. I am clear that we live in a country where good people can live together, work together and even play together even if they do not believe the same things. I do understand that many people believe they are called to witness to their faith and sometimes what they say is very painful. What I do not believe is right, Christian or especially American is forcing hard working citizens to believe the same or to force laws to be written according to one set of beliefs. This is a sticky wicket indeed. But in my heart of hearts all I truly want is for my family to live as freely as any other. I truly, and without insincerity, do not understand how my love, how my marriage can harm another family. But I do see other families actively seeking to hurt mine.

      Joel, please come back and talk with us more. Disagreement with grace and integrity is welcome here.

  6. Kim, I am so sorry about the pain you suffer. I have been caught up in many debates about this situation with heterosexual people and myself, a heterosexual individual, and I think somewhere in all that I forgot about the actual pain LGBT people are experiencing. I myself will never understand what it feels like to be discriminated against because of my sexual preference and don’t try and pretend like I could ever. But I stand out of principle for those who are denied certain inalienable rights. I’d like too offer you some condolence.
    1. Many of the people in those lines don’t hate the LGBT community but strongly feel like attacking someone for their beliefs is wrong. And I do agree. Every individual has the right to their opinion however wrong it is. What is wrong is when the government adopts these attitudes and institutes inequality. And thats what the LGBT community should be attacking- legislators, government administration, and policy that deny rights to the LGBT community. Chick-fil-a has become the ill chosen poster boy for this debate and it frustrates me. If people got this involved in communicating with their legislator than more progress would be made here. But I guess you don’t get a delicious chicken sandwich and waffle fries when you call you local rep. I have many friends who stood in those lines who did it for freedom of speech, republican loyalty, Huckabee loyalty, anarchy, limiting government intervention and all the while they did not harbor ill feelings toward the LGBT community. It is the human condition to polarize things and this situation is multidimensional. I hope that does alleviate some pain experienced by witnessing the long line you see out the CFA door.
    2. You have been chosen to carry the hard burden of living in a time where you are judged hard by your sexual orientation. You will feel the brute of the pain that will be felt by this continued intolerance. I wish this was not the case but for every institutionally adopted civic injustice there is a generation that carries a heavier burden than it’s succeeders. But you can find some solace in knowing the hardship you carry today is lightening the load for future generations. I believe this to be true. My proof:racial discrimination. Current African American generations still have obstacles in civic equality they have to face but the burden they carry is much lighter than their predecessors and they have their past generations to thank for that. One day future generations will be thanking you. I had lunch with my father yesterday who was an adult through the 60’s and 70’s and he is baffled to see the society he loves so much repeat its negative history. He himself a politician and a man of the law. I told him about the pictures I saw on facebook about the people in protest against race mixing and then the pictures of the people in line at Chick-Fil-A in comparison. I remember looking at those black and white pictures in grade school and feeling disgusted with those people who shunned others because of the shade of their skin. One day too, this will be a diminishing discrimination. Your pain experienced here will be a catalyst for future LGBT generations to experience peace. I thank you on their behalf.
    3. I don’t know if you have ever tasted CFA, but it is awesome. I lot of people in those lines are just addicted to the food regardless of what political message is being portrayed. So there is another handful of folks you can mark off you “hate LGBT” list. I myself am addicted to those scrumptious little waffle fries and I still eat CFA, yes, I do. But I also write my legislator and vote for individuals that hold my political standing on this situation which I believe is the correct response to LGBT discrimination.

    I hope that gives you some solace. If anyone wants the name and numbers or their local legislator- I’ll help.

    • Alexi,

      I am so glad you took the time to speak from your heart about how you perceive what is happening in the world. You have offered a well thought out and compassionate comment, though one with which I do not totally agree. I can not entirely excuse ignorance (yes I have scarfed down many a CFA meal) for ignorance is merely an excuse for people who watch the train cars roll by full of neighbors and claim they have not idea. Yeah, that sounds down right crazy and inflammatory but we do live in a time when one preacher in the south actually called for concentration camps for gays and lesbians.

      I want to share a clip from another blog and hope you will go read the whole thing too…

      “I call you a bigot because you support those terrible things I listed above: legally denying GLBT individuals equal rights, slandering them publicly, damaging them through terrible psychological programs, and even killing them. You can call me a bigot if I start campaigning that Chick-Fil-A-Holes should not be able to marry, adopt, or serve in the military. You can call me a bigot if I ship my friends off for traumatic psychological boot camps because they dared to eat a chicken sandwich. You can call me a bigot if I compare being Republican to pedophilia, bestiality, or necrophilia.
      If my worst offense is disagreeing with you, trying to convince you that you’re wrong, or calling you a name? That’s not bigotry, despite how much your martyr complex wishes it were so.”

  7. Thank you, thank you. I am a mother who happens to be straight and I was given the privilege of raising seven great children. All of them are opinionated. And kind. We have relatives and friends who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. We love each of them. So thank you.

    • Thank you Mamma Louise, thank you for your love here and for the love you have sewn into your children.

  8. I appreciate your heartfelt words. Your passion is raw and well stated.

    I am a right wing southern Christian. (Assemblies of God) That said, I have a real problem with a company that makes chicken sandwiches incurring the wrath of a powerful, political movement in an election year.

    The problem, as I see it, is that we as Americans can no longer tolerate any other opinion or lifestyle than our own, on any side of any issue. There is plenty of hate coming from both sides of this argument, and every other argument (health care, the economy,, whatever) in our great nation.

    Until we all surrender our eagerness to attack each other for the sake of being “right” things like what happened yesterday will only multiply and escalate, on every side of every issue.

    I can honestly say that I personally do not think that any “sin” or behavior excludes you from the grace and beauty of what Christ did on the cross.

    As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, by loving and appreciating people of all orientations, races, faiths, addictions, and hates as a precious, one of a kind creation of an incredible God. And I am indesribably saddened with you. Thank you for sharing.

    • Jimmie, Jimmie, Jimmie – praise be to God for your words here today!! The way you articulate your faith sounds a lot like my meemaw! I DO not expect all people, all Christians to believe the way that I do or interpret the bible as I and millions of other Christians do. I understand that we all see through a glass darkly. What is non negotiable is love, and your way of expressing yourself depicts your love for Christ and your human family, even if we are not all on the same page. Bless you sir!

  9. Kimberly, (please read this with a calm tone in mind…not a ranting one…PLEASE!! 🙂 )
    I’m a believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible clearly states that before the earth was created, God’s plan was to have us ALL as his children, adopted into the Family of God. The Bible also states that “God is not willing that ANY should parish, but that all should come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ” bear with my paraphrasing. So we know that he loves everyone. However, …and you knew there had to be a “however”…we also know that God does not condone sin. But ask yourself why? I propose to you that God detests sin so much because it is such an effective relationship-breaker. Sin ruins every relationship. It ruined our relationship with God, and it ruins our relationships with our fellow humankind. The Bible clearly indicates that homosexual behavior is wrong, just like it does adultery, incest, etc… Again…remember God desires a healthy relationship betwixt Him and us, and you and your neighbor. I’m convinced that every human being wrestles with some sin in their lives, be it pride, greed, lust, whatever. But just as the written law was not bad, but rather sin taking advantage of it, makes it appear bad, so sin makes us, God’s created beings, created in his image I might add, appear bad. But we have to remember it’s the sin in us. But, HALLELUJAH! Jesus Christ died so that we no longer have to be in bondage to sin. That’s biblical. God sees us all the same. God does not change, and he still hates sin. So, when we condone what God has declared wrong, when we condone sin, which leads us AWAY from God, we actually in ignorance are leading people away from God, despite the fact that we might think we are doing just the opposite. The label, homosexual, is just that, a label, and an unjust one. It is used by both sides in the debate. Shall we begin using other labels, adulterer, greedy soul, arrogant, and stick them to people and then console them into accommodating such behavior? So what is the truly Christian, loving thing to do…condone sin which leads us away from the God who died to save us because we all were so lost and hopeless, or condone it and direct people AWAY from the opportunity for the relationship of a lifetime with their Creator?

  10. My heart has been hurting for you the past few days. I hope this beautifully written piece helped you release some of your own hurt and grief.

    • Thank you sister of mine. It has been cathartic to write but what has been more powerful is seeing and feeling the love of so many people who were equally as dismayed and who are equally weary of the soul crushing polarization. I appreciate your unwavering support Jessica, really I do.

  11. Oh my goodness. I must be living in a bubble because I really didn’t know what CFA said or where they stood. I thought I was just boycotting because they were suing a small VT. farmer for telling people to Eat more kale. I am terribly sorry that people were lining up to support a supposed ani-gay christian value. I love Jesus and I am grateful He loves me no matter what I do. He set the example to love one another as we love ourselves. It is God’s place to convict and ours to love and heal and respect and encourage. Shame on those that openly stand in line to support hate and prejudice, persecution and could somehow envision themselves as righteous. It is getting harder and harder to help win souls for Christ but thank you so much for speaking out Kim and for all those in support of her and in opposition to CFA. I wonder if I can get a patent on Don’t Eat CFA?

    • Thanks Connie! Glad you are not in a bubble and that you’ve taken the time to raise your voice 🙂

  12. Thank you for sharing this. I feel your pain and as others have written: you are not alone.
    I, too, am shocked by the unthinking, lemming-like behavior of people in this situation. I am sure many people who went to CFA yesterday had no idea of the background information about how the money is used and just react to the right wing media’s call to “support Christianity”. Would that people do their background research before blindly following the loud voices of hatred.
    As a fellow Christian, but not of that mind-set or belief in any way, I am almost constantly wanting to shout out to people: “That’s NOT my kind of Christianity you are following!!!” I speak, write and preach love and full inclusion for everyone because that is God I believe in and follow.
    Please know that you are supported and affirmed by many and that there are many of us working in the trenches to change minds and hearts to full inclusion within and without of the church. The fight is not over and I will not allow hatred to be the norm.
    Hang in there, Kimberly. I have very much appreciated your blogs and the writings of your guests.

    • Thank you so much Rev. Jean,
      I truly appreciate your words of support. More than that I thank God for your ministry in the world! Keep on speaking, writing and preaching the love of God that we have been given to share!


  13. Hi Kim,
    I am an older Christian woman and from my reading of the Bible, and my lifetime of being around people, I have learned that trying to live the life of Christ is as God intentionally planned it … impossible. That is why we need Christ in our lives. There are so many things that God hates … the things called sin: anger, adultery, arrogance, gossip, rage, lies, theft, disobedience, dissension, judging others, sloth, greed, gluttony, jealousy, hatred, sexual immorality (pornography?), drunkenness, orgies, hatred, selfish ambition, envy, witchcraft (hoping in horoscopes, mediums), idolatry, and … let’s see … it seems to me that anything that causes us to be apart from His will, or hurts another person, hurts God. He doesn’t want us to worry or be afraid, either.
    My take on this stuff called living is something we absolutley cannot do without sinning, and that my fellow sinners, is exactly why we need Christ. He is able to present us eventually to God … His great compassion reveals how much we all need His saving grace. For those of you who don’t believe in God, please read the Bible … for those of you claiming Christianity … please read your Bible. Multiple sins are identified and not one is a freeby, nor is one the worst … except denying the Holy Spirit of God. He’s here with us … seek him. And for those of you who spend so much time thinking about what others do with their bodies … quit it. Focus on your own issues. If you have trouble identifying what your ‘sin’ is, get alone in the dark with God.
    “My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait til the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts.” I Corinthians 4:4-5

  14. Kimberly – That was one of the most well written responses I have read. I have been married for 20 years and have a niece who is gay. She is the most kind and caring person I know. This is about hate and Bullying. Remember the people they are bashing is someone’s daugther, son, sister,brother, mother or father. These are real people with feelings. They have fought their whole lives to be accepted. God is a loving god. We are all of God’s children. If you truly believe in God how could you HATE one of God’s children. It would be like hating God. A little kindness will go a long way to make this a better country. I’m sure God would want it that way.

    • Thank you Dave – keep loving your niece and remind her that not all Christians were in line yesterday.

  15. Your words are both well-crafted and true.

    Unfortunately, the simple truth is that it is only in 10 years, or 20, or 40, when the history has slapped these bigots around in exactly the same way that it has slapped around racial bigots, that they will regret their actions. Only when their children — or their grandchildren — have to sheepishly say, “My gramma is an anti-gay bigot … but she grew up in a different time” … only then will those people — see what I did there? — have the sense to feel ashamed.

    I’m straight, white, not religious, and not particularly sensitive, and when I run into people like this, I confront them. Directly. Belligerently, even. I’m not going to listen to it, so they can either shut up in my presence, or they can re-think their beliefs.

    For what it’s worth, there are a lot of people like me out here.

    • Thank you Jeff, really. The pouring out of love and support is a summer rain on a parched plain.

    • Thank you Sophia – may YOUR voice carry light into the canyons of darkness.

  16. I would offer you some of Kansas’s post-rain balminess, but I think that would be the wrong kind of “balm.” 🙂 I’m glad you’re feeling supported today. It sounds like you need it.

  17. Sending you a hug. I don’t know how else to help, or what else I can offer you. So have a hug from a Christian brother who thinks you need one. 🙂 I am grateful for you and your blog.

    • Thank you for your hug Chad. The love and support I am feeling today is truly a balm.

  18. Kim, thank you for sharing this. The truth of our experiences of can never be underestimated. May your raw pain today become “cold anger” to fuel you and give you energy to stand for justice.

    • Cheryl,

      I am hoping that my pain can help me better understand the the fear and deep grief of people who do not understand the ways in which the world is so rapidly changing. I hope that my anger can turn into compassion that finds someone where they need it and even some where they do not even realize.


  19. I am one of those followers of Christ, a Disciple of Christ (I hesitate to use the word Christian anymore), who has long stood for love of all people, who has long voiced that being gay isn’t a sin. I’ve felt alone in my voice but have found more and more like me, the louder I get. I’m straight, white, married with kids, and attend a United Methodist Church. I love God with my entire being and have never doubted Him. But I plainly see, and it breaks my heart that others can’t see this, that there are many who aren’t choosing love first, who aren’t considering the impact of their choices. And they call themselves Christians. So if they want to define Christian that way, I can’t go along with it for the definition of my own faith.

    Thank you for this post.

    • Thank you Liz – thank you for your support here and thank you for the way you live out your faith in the world. May you be a ray of light in the midst of darkness.

  20. To claim to be a Christian, at least with the slightest trace of honesty, one must at least care a *little* bit about the words of that Christ guy.

    I doubt there was a single Christian in line at a Chik-fil-A yesterday. Not one at all.

  21. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are exactly right. I know my heart broke a little and I welled with frustration each time I saw another post on facebook about eating at CFA. I wanted to comment, but so many people were “liking” those posts, and I didn’t want to start a huge facebook battle/debate. Maybe I will share what you wrote…it will give many people something to think about.

    • Meghan,

      Thank you for taking a leap and commenting here. I hope you are able to share either my words or your own to convey the very human aspect of the circus from yesterday. Your voice matters!

  22. Thank you for this beautiful and powerful reflection. I have been so grieved by the response of so many of my Facebook friends – horrified to see their updates about standing in line at CFA. That they are doing it out of a sense of their Christian faith is all the more distressing. I’m an American Baptist pastor with many, many gay friends; I believe in civil rights for all people. What CFA is doing, and what those who lined up yesterday are supporting, sickens me.

    • Earthchick,

      You are an incredible asset to the conversation happening about this travesty. Your leadership in your denomination may open hearts in ways that no other can.


  23. Kimberly, thank you so much for your heartfelt and truly Christian response to yesterday’s travesty!

  24. I have recently concluded to myself that I am in fact atheist. That being said, this gave me chill bumps and caused me to well up a little. I have several gay friends, who are constantly hurt by bigotry of people saying they don’t approve of their lifestyle because it isn’t Christian, and it just absolutely floors me every time. I hope that one day we can look past someone’s sexual orientation to see the person that they really are, but unfortunately today that is just not happening, and I find is incredibly frustrating.

    • Kevin,

      I hope your walk of experience and reason will be graced by a love that knows no bounds.


  25. Thank you for writing this, Kimberly. I am so very sorry that the people meant to walk hand-in-hand with you in love have led you to feel hated and rejected. You are right- that is not the image or experience of Christ.

    • Indeed Amanda but thank the Lord there are others out there that though they may see things differently will not lend their money or time to such as we saw yesterday.

    • Remember that Jesus stopped the stoning of a woman caught in adultery. He also noted that ” he who is without sin to cast the first stone” but he did not tell the woman to go and continue in adultery. He told her “to go and sin no more”
      Last time I looked in the bible, homosexuality was considered a sin. From the link provided, I seem to gather that the UCC condones this as a lifestyle vs trying to help people caught in such lifestyle to get out. Satan has got you duped into avoiding what scripture says and substituting it for what the mind of man wants to believe.

      • You’re right Jeff. Continue speaking the truth in love, no matter what kind of opposition you face. We are called to do this.

      • Jeff,
        It’s amazing to me how casually you state that “Satan” has some sort of foothold on a person. What an awful belief to hold! I wonder how many relationships have been ruined because of this ancient suspicion.

  26. “Shocked by hate” I love that…well, I don’t “LOVE” that, but that is a good image. As Christians we should always be shocked by hate. I think there is a sermon in there….or five or six…

    • Indeed Glennyce, may we all be shocked by hate even when the folks wading in those waters do not realize that is what they are displaying.

  27. It is tragic, but not surprising that the fundamentalist “christians” have twisted this story to be about “the war on christians” and flag-waving, patriotic, God-and-country “freedom of speech”. Here’s a quote from this morning’s AJC: “Why can’t (Cathy) say what he believes without being persecuted for it,” she said. “We have our freedoms. And freedom of speech is one of our greatest.” Nowhere in the article were the company’s donations to anti-gay hate groups even mentioned. Once again the loud voice of a perverted Christianity are held up and the voice of the oppressed followers of Jesus are trampled.

    • Jeff,

      Maybe the saddest part of all is watching good people falling for the political pawn game without realizing the hurt they are causing friends and family.

      • This is the core of it. It was good people who were out there yesterday. I believe that most of them weren’t hateful. It’s just that people are so willing to go along with bad ideas especially when they are called to do so by faith. I stopped believing in God less than a year ago and this was one of the things that led me to where I am. I just can’t be on the side of the righteous. It looks like the wrong side on a growing number of issues. I’m trying to figure out how to come out as a non believer because I feel that I owe it to a number of friends with whom I walked alongside for years as a christian. This “demonstration” of support for Chick-Fil-A leaves me feeling empty. I can’t imagine how alienated gay people must feel and above all, gay believers.

        • I’m not so sure that they were “good people”. I believe that the whole Chick-fil-A thing was a stand-in, a SUBSTITUTE, for screaming what they would like to scream at us LGBT people. They know that they can’t scream “faggot burn in hell” anymore, so, they rationalize, “let’s take the kiddies to Chick-fil-A. That’ll show those sodomites.” Anyone who intentionally went out of their way to go to Chick-fil-A yesterday was no good person in my book.

          • I’m having a hard time refuting this argument. All I can say is that the stand in came across as facepalmingly childish and embarrassing. I send my solidarity to the second class citizens of America.

    • They need freedom to persecute without being persecuted for it. What don’t you understand about that, you anti-Christian bigot!?

      (Actually, as I always point out, equating their evil behavior with Christianity as though nobody could ever expect any better of a Christian and as though being a bad person is a requirement instead of something we’re not supposed to do at all… that *is* anti-Christian bigotry, from the people that hypocritically accuse their self-defending victims of such. And, unlike gay people, Christ wasn’t too fond of hypocrisy.)

    • Jeff,
      What I can’t understand is the word “anti-gay Christian hate groups” term that is being thrown around in the media and by you. Have you actually looked closely at the organizations that Chick-fil-a donates to or are you going off of the propaganda that the media is spreading around. I have researched these organizations and they Do Not hate gays but they do hate the sin of the homosexual act among people who profess to be Christ Followers as instructed in the Bible. I don’t understand why people can’t see the difference between love and tolerance. The Bible is very clear that we are too react in Love to ALL people and the Bible is very clear that were are NOT to be tolerant of sin in the lives of people who claim to follow Christ. If you follow Christ, you also follow the Bible; the wholly written Word of God. From Jesus’s ministry it is clear; We are to call those who profess to be believers out of their sin in LOVE. It is also clear from reading God’s word that God considers the act of homosexuality a sin; therefore it should not be encouraged or tolerated among Believers. I am blown away with how things in the media are twisted until everyone is just spewing hate. I pray that all of you may find the freedom that comes from knowing Jesus as your savior and the joy that comes from Faith; realizing that the Bible is the wholly written Word of God not just a good story.

      • The problem I see here is that you are naming gays and lesbians as sinners, JPS, and you are claiming the Bible is the “wholly written Word of God.” I am a Christian. I am a minister. I have been trained in a seminary. And I am a lesbian. I am a follower of Jesus – the Jesus who summed up all of the law this way: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, strength and soul and love your neighbor as yourself.” And when the righteous lawyer asked Jesus “who is my neighbor”, Jesus gave an example using a Samaritan caring for a man lying in a ditch. Jesus also noted that the two religious men – a Levite and a priest – avoided the man because contact with him would have made them “unclean” according to the law. A Samaritan was a despised person to many Jews, yet it was his behavior that Jesus pointed to as the fulfillment of the law. Jesus did not say the Levite and the priest were great because they were rigid about the law. He said the one who loves is the neighbor. The one who got down in the dirt, tended to the man’s wounds, picked him up, carried him to an inn, paid for his stay and checked in on him again was the one who got it right. If you want to use “God’s Word” to define sin, then perhaps you should use all of the Bible and note that eating shellfish is also a sin, and that bad-mouthing your parents should be cause for you to be stoned, and that wearing clothing made of two different fabrics is against the law. The way I see it, the Bible is a human construct written by various people to explain how they see the divine in the world. It may be inspired by the Spirit, but it is the story of a people who choose to name God as their divine being and who choose to follow the life and teachings of Jesus. (Side note: Jesus never said one word about homosexuality, but had much to say about self-righteousness among the spiritual leaders of the day). I am now spewing hate. My position on all of this is that an awful lot of time, energy and money is being spent on an issue that is mighty small compared with the poverty around the world, and that I think God must weep to see that time, energy and money wasted when it could be going to make a real difference in the world. I have long loved Chik-Fil-A for its food, but will no longer eat there as I do not want the profits made from my meal to go to anyone who doesn’t believe I am a child of God just because I love another woman, who is also a minister. Real joy comes from knowing that you are loved – loved by God and loved by others – not from following a literal interpretation (and then only the parts that suit) of the Bible. Blessings.

        • A “minister” says real joy does not come from a literal interpretation of the Bible? Wow.

          • Josh,

            Yes, there are in fact scores and scores of Christian ministers who do not read the Bible as literal/factual but nonetheless regard it as wholly true. It need not be factual in the way some think in order for it point to higher and ultimate truths. There are so many beautiful forms of literature and so many voices in the Bible – all trying faithfully to understand our relationship with God and one another. I would like to lift up a link to a PDF from my denomination about a way millions of Christians encounter our shared Holy text.


            Grace and peace,

  28. This is such a beautiful post. I’m not Christian, but I did grow up in a Catholic family. Thankfully, most of the Christians I know are loving and openminded. I also think they’re a much better representation of true Christians than the grinning idiots bragging and posting pics of themselves at Chick-fil-A. I honestly think Jesus would be horrified by those supposed followers of His. I don’t remember the Jesus I read about as a child being petty and spiteful or celebrating the suffering of others.

    • Amanda,

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this post. As you can see my words are a bit raw today. I hope you will come back and get to know some Christians who walk this journey differently than the folks in lines yesterday.

  29. Beautifully said, and perhaps for me it represents the rest of the story. The desire to forgive and the desire for justice are not mutually exclusive after all. If Rosa Parks had said “I forgive you” instead of sitting down on that bus, it might have changed the history of the civil rights movement and not for the better. Oh, she may indeed have forgiven and loved her enemy, but she still sat down on the damn bus.

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