A few weeks ago, we started this Hard Conversations blog series by naming something most of us feel but don’t always say out loud: it’s hard to have conversations with people who think differently from us.
We are living in a cultural moment where it feels like there are more tribes and sharper lines than ever. Differences aren’t just differences anymore; they are lines drawn for war.
Our ability to look at situations objectively is clouded by political convictions, conspiracies, constant outrage, past wounds, growing cynicism, and a deep desire to win rather than to understand. Political leaders, news sources, and social media have trained us to respond quickly, loudly, and publicly. Critical thinking and nuance don’t trend. Outrage sells news.
We don’t just encounter different viewpoints occasionally. We swim in them. They’re in our feeds before we’re out of bed. They’re at the dinner table, in staff meetings, in church hallways, in group texts, and in comment sections we probably should have never opened in the first place.
The world around us is full of strained, divided relationships. But the church is called to something different. Jesus prayed that we would be one as He and the Father are one. We are meant to be unified as one body despite our differences.
And yet, somewhere along the way, the way of the world has crept into the way of the church.
Division happens when someone believes differently, votes differently, parents differently, worships differently, or reads the Bible differently. We don’t just feel the tension of hard conversations: we also often feel threatened, feel injustice, feel defensive, feel dismissed, feel angry, or feel exhausted.
Despite Jesus praying for unity and warning us that the way of the world is not to be so among us, disagreement has started to feel like disloyalty. If you question me, you must be against me. If you see it differently, you must be compromising. If you don’t react with the same intensity, you must not care about the truth.
That pressure, when permitted, forms us in unhealthy ways as the church.
That is why we are doing this series. This series is not about winning arguments. It’s about learning how to have hard conversations.
- Week 1: Jesus’ Prayer for a Divided World
- Week 2: We Don’t Know it All
- Week 3: Being Loving is As Important
Affirming That The Spirit Can Create Unity
In this blog post, we are talking about trusting God to bring unity even when someone is clearly wrong. Love must not be abandoned. We must not lose our composure in the name of truth. Instead, we are called to deeper dependence on the Holy Spirit.
We are affirming: “The Spirit can create unity where it once seemed impossible.”
Please turn with me to Acts 15:1–31.
Certain people came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the believers: “Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.” This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them. So Paul and Barnabas, along with some other believers, were appointed to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question. The church sent them on their way, and as they traveled through Phoenicia and Samaria, they told how the Gentiles had been converted. This news made all the believers very glad. When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church and the apostles and elders, to whom they reported everything God had done through them.
Then some of the believers who were trained by the Pharisees in their pre-Jesus life stood up and said, “The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to keep the law of Moses.”
Much like last week, we see division forming in the early church over cultural and theological differences. Before anyone slows down to reflect or seek the elders’ wisdom, a popular opinion becomes the narrative. It spreads quickly, shaping teaching in local churches and sending unofficial ambassadors out to promote a shallow, “Jesus plus” message.
Influencers have always existed. They didn’t have YouTube or TikTok, but they had charisma, confidence, and just enough theology to be dangerous. They traveled from Judea to Antioch, spreading a “Jesus plus” message—the same dangerous idea we talked about last week.
Our Experiences Growing Up Can Get In The Way
Our upbringings shape how we see the world. Many of these believers had grown up Jewish and were now following Jesus as Jews. Then suddenly Gentiles start coming to faith—people who didn’t know the stories, didn’t share the customs, and lived very differently. That created tension.
There was real disagreement about what relationship with God was required for Gentiles. Some believed they only needed to follow the basic moral commands associated with Noah—avoiding idolatry, sexual immorality, and similar practices. Others believed they had to fully convert to Judaism—embrace the traditions, learn the law, and be circumcised. These debates were already present in Jewish thought and carried straight into the church.
Even the historian Josephus records that, at times, Gentiles seeking refuge among Jews were required to be circumcised. That wasn’t a universal policy, but it shows how deeply this way of thinking was embedded in the culture.
There were already debates swirling in that culture, and those same debates followed people into the church. The question became clear: Do Gentile believers need to fully convert to Judaism? And if so, what does that conversion require? Or is faith in Christ enough?
That’s how this belief rises to the surface: “Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved” (Acts 15:1, NIV). Circumcision becomes the line between who is in and who is out. It shifts from being a sign of the covenant to becoming the condition of salvation. Instead of confessing Jesus as Lord and believing in His resurrection being enough, something else is added. Salvation becomes Jesus plus circumcision.
And that’s a serious problem.
Gentiles Were Being Saved
Paul and Barnabas, who are on their missionary trip of healing, evangelism, and church planting, get pretty upset about this. The Gentiles are their mission. Paul tells the church in Romans that God has not rejected the Jews but grafted in the Gentiles, and Paul identifies that God has called him to be an “apostle to the Gentiles” (Romans 11:13, NIV). Paul also knows, in hindsight, that this has always been his mission. Paul’s testimony in Galatians says that God set him apart in his mother’s womb and set the course toward grace so that “I might preach Him among the Gentiles” (Galatians 1:15–16, NIV). This is who Paul is. Paul and Barnabas are inviting people in, while the gatekeepers try to keep them out. This creates a divided local church.
Scripture says Paul and Barnabas had a sharp dispute with the others. It was a hard conversation, and they reached a standstill. So they were sent, along with others, to Jerusalem to bring the issue before the apostles and elders.
On the way, they shared stories of Gentiles coming to faith, and believers were encouraged. People could see God at work. The church loves stories of new people coming to Jesus—but not always the changes required to truly welcome them in.
The team arrives in Jerusalem and brings the issue before the apostles and elders. Paul and Barnabas share what God has done, but some believers trained in the way of the Pharisees before their conversion begin to push back. It becomes a full debate. They insist that Gentiles must be circumcised and keep the law of Moses—essentially adopting the entire way of life. Imagine being asked to take all of that on as an adult convert.
The Elders Discern
The whole assembly became silent as they listened to Barnabas and Paul telling about the signs and wonders God had done among the Gentiles through them.
The jury of elders and apostles gets together to consider this question. They look into it. It is a meditation moment. There is prayer and searching of Scripture. I also think there was careful consideration of both parts, of both arguments. They realized that both had some good points. They were not emotional or quick to fight back. I don’t know how much “much discussion” is, but I am guessing this was an intentional, slow moment, a significant pause.
Peter then gets up to share their findings.
Peter starts by sharing a story. He recalls Pentecost and how Gentiles became followers of Jesus as the Spirit of God called them to repent and believe. He says, look, that experience tells me something. God cares about the heart, and repenting, circumcising the heart, is enough. The Holy Spirit didn’t make them learn laws or “lose skin” to get the same power, authority, and blessing that we did. Fair or not, God does not discriminate. The people who annoy you, who believe and act differently, God loves them just as much.
He purifies their hearts by faith.
Peter’s next line is memorable. He accuses those who are trying to make it more than just repent and believe, those who want it to be Jesus plus something else, of trying to test God. In other words, the measure you are using to judge them is the measure God is going to use to judge you. You are putting something on the backs of Gentiles that our own people and you yourselves cannot bear. It is grace alone.
There is nothing else.
We learn a lot about the early church structure here. There were local elders. Elders ruled the churches, much as the synagogues were ruled. Churches shared accountability with one another. They would hear out the arguments and make a decision. Elders were a multi-voice, well-learned, well-respected group. There was no great man of God or singular king-like call to leadership and authority. The idea was not to agree to disagree but to drive toward consensus.
We learn something important here. Peter appeals to experience, not just theology. Some would argue that visible signs can be deceptive and are not enough to prove true conversion. Jesus Himself warns that in the end some will say, “Did we not prophesy in Your name and perform miracles?” (Matthew 7:22). Signs alone are not ultimate proof.
But in this moment, the Spirit’s work aligns with the heart of the gospel. In that case, it is a confirmation. Where Scripture speaks clearly, we obey it. Where it is silent, we pay attention to the Spirit’s movement. As the Moravians later said, “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; and in all things, love.” Liberty, love, and the Spirit matter.
After Peter speaks, the room grows quiet. Instead, Barnabas and Paul share what God has done among the Gentiles. And something shifts.
James Lays Down Judgement
The James speaking is almost certainly James the Just, the brother of Jesus and the leader (often referred to as the bishop) of the Jerusalem church. Hearing the time of testimony has given James a little more space to lead and think. He affirms Peter’s words and then gives them scripture. He makes the doctrinal, theological argument. He draws on the teaching of Amos, a prophet, to discuss how God will bring Gentiles to bear His name. That probably had truth for that moment, and it was also prophetic. Even among the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Essene communities at Qumran, this verse is seen as prophetic, part of the messianic promise.
James lays down a stricter ruling than Peter. He gives a judgment. His understanding of the Scripture is clear. We should not test God, James knows. We should not make it hard for those who might be coming in who think, act, eat, smell, dress, and vote differently from us. We aren’t going to make them lose their clothes and their skin. The matter is settled now.
All that James is going to ask the Gentiles is not to eat food that is offered or blessed by idols, to watch their “sexual lives,” and not to eat meat from animals that were strangled. They should not drink blood, because that is weird. He then mentions that the law of Moses has been preached in every city and still is, since the beginning of time, on every Sabbath. If people want to know these laws and these ways, they can go learn for themselves. I imagine James offended people when he issued this ruling.
Unity Happens When the Spirit Leads
All the elders and apostles then put their decision into writing. They wanted to set the record straight. They also do more than write a letter, because words are not enough in a hard conversation. They send ambassadors, or representatives, back with Paul and Barnabas so people know the truth and don’t think Paul and Barnabas just pretended to get their way. They chose Judas, who was also called Barsabbas, for obvious reasons, and Silas. With them comes a letter that is signed, sealed, and delivered. It is an apology and a letter of clarity. Summary: We are sorry that people carried a narrative that was not ours. We chose some of our best men to come and welcome you. They will confirm this in person. Discernment was made.
Their discernment is summed up in one line: “It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything” beyond a few basic instructions. Avoid these things, and you will do well—but none of them are greater than repentance, faith, and the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Division had settled into the church. Lines had been drawn. Arguments had flared. However, the Spirit brought clarity. And when the letter arrived, verse 31 says the people were glad for its encouraging message. Unity brings joy. When the church chooses Spirit-led discernment over pride, encouragement and unity follow. The prophets encourage. The community is drawn together.
So before we reply, react, or escalate, we pause and remember: “The Spirit can create unity where it once seemed impossible.”
That is at the core of this story.
Matthew Henry wrote generations ago, “There is a strange proneness in us to make our own opinion and practice a rule.” Henry continues, we think that “because we do well, all do wrong that do not just as we do.”
That is at the heart of this story. It teaches us a lot about how we fail at having hard conversations. We must be careful not to make our opinion a rule. We must make sure that what works for us doesn’t become a law for everyone.
At the same time, not every disagreement is innocent. In verse one, certain men went out without authorization and stirred up confusion. Their teaching created division and stalled the church’s fruitfulness. In adding to the gospel, they distorted it—turning grace into something earned.
Acts 15 gives us the story of the first major church council in Jerusalem. The stakes are high, and both sides have dug in their heels.
This isn’t a minor disagreement.
This is about authority, identity, and what salvation actually requires.
After much debate, we get these wonderful words that they wrote in their letter in verse 28: “For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us.” In this moment, we are told that the Holy Spirit worked in a way no one had expected; it brought direction, and the outcome was great joy.
There will be times when hard conversations feel just as divisive as this one in Acts 15. Sometimes it won’t be an honest misunderstanding. Sometimes someone really is wrong. Sometimes what is being taught actually undermines the truth of the gospel.
Some Practical Spirit Dependent Practices
Here is what this passage shows us.
- Trust the Spirit of God when you believe you are right. Paul and Barnabas were right to contend. Peter was right to stand up. But even when they were confident, they still submitted the issue to the gathered church and to the Spirit’s discernment. Unity is not always possible, but Spirit-led process matters.
- Ask the Spirit to show you if you might be wrong. Those who were certain about Moses had to listen. They had to sit through “much discussion.” This passage shows that humility is part of faith. What feels immovable today may, under the Spirit’s guidance, look different tomorrow.
- Remember that the Holy Spirit can speak through others. Peter speaks. Paul and Barnabas testify. James brings Scripture. The elders were needed. The Spirit does not rest on one loud voice. In Acts 15, direction comes through shared discernment.
Closing Thoughts
We are remembering in hard conversations this week to stop before we reply or respond, “The Spirit can create unity where it once seemed impossible.”
So when the next hard conversation comes—and it will—pause long enough to pray, to listen, and to believe that the Spirit can do what you cannot. Refuse the easy path of division, resist the instinct to win, and make room for grace to do its deeper work among you.
And may it be said of us, in our homes, in our church, and in every hard moment we face together, “It seemed good to the Holy Spirit
This blog series is based on a sermon series at River Corner Church. You can see this blog post as it was preached:
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In