Framing Your Personal Calling: Finding A Quiet Life

This leads a quiet life, I feel called to from 1 Thessalonians 4:11–12, is more than a good idea to me; it has become a conviction that governs who I am, what my schedule looks like, and what I say “yes” or “no” to. It shapes my values, my ministry focus, and even my schedule. I understand myself, first and foremost, as a follower of Jesus, drawing near to God and seeking first the Kingdom of God and its right ways (James 4:8; Matthew 6:33). Second, I am focused on my family in light of this verse. This verse affects my life as a father, husband, son, son-in-law, and uncle. It also affects how I focus on myself. I build habits and disciplines that help me practice leading a quiet life, one sustained by both Sabbath and re-creating play. It needs to affect how I pastor and the communities I participate in, it guardrails what I let myself be influenced by, and what I create needs to be a reflection of who I am. This call to lead a quiet life as a follower of Jesus is an identity marker; it is a personal calling that orders everything else. The quiet life is not passive withdrawal but intentional presence—choosing depth over noise, steadiness over platform, faithfulness over visibility.

To do that, I use a dedicated schedule, a rule of life, and ministry philosophies. Over the past year, my Rule of Life has been solid, but many of the other ideas were underdeveloped or not updated for the season I am in. The past six months have been spent ironing this out in a simple way that is true to who God has made me, what He is calling me to do, and where I am going. All of those documents (Personal Philosophy, Personal Ministry Philosophy, Rule of Life, and Weekly Rhythm) have now become one coherent document for me. I wanted to write about it not only because it clarifies how I want to live, but also because I believe there are others who would benefit from developing something similar.

I need this document because I drift all the time. There are days when I do not want to live by these values. There are days when I want to run and do something else, and sometimes the very people I am called to love are the ones I struggle to love well. Reading this document daily and weekly in my office anchors me.

I hope this inspires you to have a helpful document too.

Ministry Philosophy and Structure

J. Robert Clinton’s work on developing a ministry philosophy helped me see that leaders must articulate how God has wired them and what they are called to contribute. That framework pushed me to write not only a personal ministry philosophy but also a personal one, and then to embed both inside a rule of life. For someone committed to two jobs, a family, and doctoral studies, good intentions are not enough. Convictions must become structured. A philosophy without a rule and a schedule becomes aspiration rather than formation.

Clinton believed that “God builds into leaders values – leadership values. These values, while implicit at first, eventually become more explicit and form the foundational drive for leadership. It is this process of identifying values and seeing them become an integrated part of one’s leadership which comprise ministry philosophy.” After fifteen years in ministry, I am finally getting a grasp of the values God has built into me. Naming these sorts of documents also has a formative aspect in terms of effectiveness and transformation. Clinton found out that after “eleven years of comparative study of leaders and their development has resulted in identification of several major leadership lessons. One of those…Effective leaders who are productive over a lifetime have a dynamic ministry philosophy.”

In his resource A Personal Ministry Philosophy, J. Robert Clinton says is research has shown him that “leaders must develop a ministry philosophy which simultaneously honors biblical leadership values, embraces the challenges of the times in which they live, and fits their unique giftedness and personal development if they expect to be productive over a whole lifetime.” Additionally, “Ministry philosophy refers to ideas, values, and principles whether implicit or explicit which a leader uses as guidelines for decision-making, for exercising influence, and for evaluating his/her ministry.” Even more than just leaders, I think all of us would benefit from such a practice. You can learn more from the notes I personally took from A Personal Ministry Philosophy – One Key to Effective Leadership by J. Robert Clinton

Personal Philosophy

For me, a personal philosophy answers a simple question: what anchors you? It is not borrowed language or someone else’s template. It clarifies who you are before God and what kind of life you are actually trying to live. What priorities and values for life has God given you? For me, that includes naming my priorities—family, self, vocation, stewardship, community, and creating—and identifying core values like loving my family well, living theology in ordinary places, and letting simplicity shape my soul. Without this clarity, it becomes easy to drift into someone else’s expectations.

Personal Ministry Philosophy

A personal ministry philosophy narrows the focus further. It reminds you what God has called you to do, not what others assume you should do. It clarifies your unique gifting and paradigm, and it becomes a filter for “yes” and “no.” My core aim in this section was to encourage and resource church communities toward authentic, Scripture-rooted, simple, shared life. Commitments such as presence and proximity, depth and formation, downward mobility, and shared leadership guard me against personality-driven ministry. When opportunities arise, I measure them against that aim. If they align, I lean in. If not, I release them.

Rule of Life

A rule of life asks a more practical question: what daily, weekly, monthly, and annual practices will actually shape this life? In my own rule, daily prayer and Scripture, a 15-minute debrief with Katie, walks at lunch, prioritizing the dinner table, exercise, and evening tea are not accidental; they are chosen. Weekly rhythms include daddy-daughter breakfasts, Friday date nights, gathered worship, creative time, and review. Monthly and annual practices include spiritual direction, retreats, and family vacations. These commitments identify which influences I will prioritize in this season and which I will not.

Weekly Rhythm

The weekly rhythm then aligns the clock with the convictions. My mornings begin at 5:30 a.m., with early writing for doctoral work at Kairos University before leaving for Water Street Mission. Evenings include family dinner, limited church work, exercise, and a consistent wind-down. Friday’s shift toward writing and then date night. Sundays hold worship at River Corner Church, rest, and a nap. If I believe in a quiet life, I must leverage my schedule toward it. Otherwise, the loudest demands (or the most emotional or luring) will always win.

Biblical Foundation

All of these things have biblical roots. The apostles gave written reminders that grounded believers in identity: “you are A CHOSEN RACE” (1 Peter 2:9, NASB), “we are His workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10, NASB), and “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17, NASB). This was because they were in a threatening time of life, and mission drift was possible.

The apostles also modeled clarity of their own calling, which led to the delegation of work for others in their calling. Paul left Titus in Crete “to set in order what remains” (Titus 1:5, NASB). Elders were appointed in every church, so Paul could keep on, keeping on (Acts 14:23). In Acts 6:1–7, the apostles structured leadership so they could stay true to their calling and devote themselves to prayer and the ministry of the word.

Many scriptures speak of the importance of disciplined bodies, surrendered minds, and well-ordered lives. This is about having a life of discipline: “God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7, NASB). Habits that bring our lives undercontrol are important: “Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit” (Proverbs 25:28, NASB). Consider Paul, “I discipline my body and make it my slave” (1 Corinthians 9:27, NASB).

With that, daily and weekly habits are hinted at and assumed: such as meditating on the Law day and night (Joshua 1:8, NASB), ordering prayer in the morning (Psalm 5:3, NASB), and building a way of life that is about praying without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NASB). Paul reminds us that we are called to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” which is about the Spirit’s work and our ability to pause and surrender to it (Romans 12:2, NASB).

We need theology, disciplines, habits, and practices that stop the drift. That ensures we complete the tasks entrusted to us faithfully. I know for me that a quiet life does not happen by accident. It is built, guarded, and renewed on purpose.

If you want to see what my document looks like, you can see it here.

An Act for Lent

Lent felt like the right season to bring this work to a close, as it is about surrender. It is about confession. It is about rooting ourselves in wilderness moments of dependence on God in a way that prevents a trial from becoming temptation. It is a season that strips away illusion and invites honesty: about who we are, where we are drifting, and what needs to be reordered. Finishing this work during Lent felt fitting because it has required the same surrender, the same clarity, and the same return to dependence.

Closing Thoughts

As I said earlier, I need this document because I drift all the time. There are days when I do not want to live by these values. There are days when I want to run and do something else, and sometimes the very people I am called to love are the ones I struggle to love well. Reading this document daily and weekly in my office anchors me. It calls me back to who I am and what I said yes to. It pushes me toward a better life, I hope. My prayer is that, in a year and in three years, as it continues to grow and sharpen, people will see me maturing and becoming more faithful to who God is calling me to be.

Here are a few questions to consider as you think about your own document:

What values do you say you believe, and where do they actually show up in your schedule?
What has God uniquely called you to do in this season, and what expectations need to be released?
What daily and weekly practices are shaping you right now (for better or for worse)?
If someone observed your life closely for six months, what would they say anchors you?