Divorce Terrified Me, But One Simple Prayer Saved Me

Divorce Terrified Me, But One Simple Prayer Saved Me June 16, 2016

By A Million Unheard Souls Contributor, Amanda Rose

Facing the devastation of divorce can be terrifying, but one simple prayer can bring immense consolation… Pick up the Rosary and allow the Lord to draw you close with “cords of love.”

Photo by Joshua Davis, Unsplash.Com, CC
Photo by Joshua Davis, Unsplash.Com, CC

One teenage angst-filled day, I angrily slammed the bathroom door. Within seconds, the mirror over the sink was tipping off the wall. It struck the two hanging lights in front of it and all five feet of it continued falling forward towards me. I still remember the feeling of shock as I stood there watching the impossible. I instinctively raised my hands to cover my face, shards exploding around me. It was unexpected. Terrifying. And there was nothing I could do to stop it; no time to reach up to catch the huge mirror as it fell.

Surprisingly and thankfully, my only injury was a small cut in my finger, suffered as my hands had risen up to protect my face. The wound looked small, but it was deep. It bled so profusely that it had to be stitched up. To this day I carry the scar and the vivid image of that falling glass.


And Then My Life Fell Apart

When my husband told me he didn’t love me – or like me – anymore it felt like that mirror was shattering again. It was unexpected, impossible, terrifying. I was in shock, devastated. So many times it felt like I was standing arms extended and hands open wide, reaching and stretching to catch the pieces of my life and hold them where they belonged as they shattered and fell around me.

Like my physical wound, the emotional wound of divorce has taken years to heal. I’ve experienced shock and anger; I’ve feared being alone the rest of my life. There have been feelings of disbelief, abandonment and rejection, as well as crushing pain and loneliness. I’ve even questioned my faith. But the devastating pain has diminished as I continue to adjust to the new normal.

If you’ve suffered the excruciating pain of divorce as I have, or any other suffering, I want you to know that you are not alone. Others have felt the same feelings you’re feeling. The pain does eventually diminish, even if an echo of it remains like the echoing numbness in my once-injured finger.


The Simple Prayer that Saved Me

I invite you to pray the simple prayer that helped hold my world together when it was falling apart: the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. When we are numb from pain we can still make the decision and motion to pick up our rosary beads, to clutch them like a drowning man thrown a rope. We are never alone when we hold the Rosary in our hands. The mother of Christ is always with us, praying with us and for us.

We turn our attention to Christ as best we are able as we pray; meditating on the suffering He chose to endure for us as we pray along the beads. When we are too bereft to meditate on the mysteries, we can just mouth the words of the “Our Fathers,” “Hail Marys” and “Glory Be’s.”

And if your grief is so deep that it takes all your words away, it’s okay to just clutch your rosary as you sob rivers of tears. I certainly wept and sobbed through many rosaries.


You’re Never Alone

As you pray, holding hands with Jesus and his mother Mary as you hold the beads in your hands, you will meet Jesus in his suffering and he will meet you in yours. You probably won’t feel this “meeting” between you and Jesus, but trust and believe that he is with you. Jesus tells us of his fidelity in Matthew 28:20 as he spoke to his disciples, “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

Jesus loves you more than you can imagine and longs to pour out his mercy upon you as you endure every kind of grief and suffering, even when it feels like your life is shattering into a million pieces that you can’t hold it together. Pick up the Rosary and allow the Lord to draw you close with “cords of love.” (Hosea 11:4) Take his hand that he offers to you through the prayers and meditations of the Rosary. Jesus delights in your love and trust and he delights in you.

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