Who Are The Million Unheard Souls?

Who are the “million unheard souls?” Great question. Allow me to introduce myself and explain.

My name is Lisa Duffy, conservative, cradle Catholic, formerly divorced and now remarried in the Church for over 15 years. I have three miracle children (whom I will tell you about in future posts) and suffice it to say that back in 1993 when my ex-spouse left our marriage, there was little-to-nothing available for divorced Catholics to find healing. My journey between 1993 and today has been marked with gallons of tears, bitter mistakes, and hard life-lessons that I believe carry a lot of value. This is why I like to write for single Catholics looking for a happy relationship, but also in particular for divorced Catholics and the issues that affect them.

Divorce, especially when you are forced into one against your will as I was, is devastating in a way that’s very difficult to describe in words. It happens on many levels and generates a palpable, enduring, full scale pain that cannot be remedied by popping a few Tylenol. At that time in my home state of (Southern) California, there was virtually nothing available from a Catholic perspective to offer me guidance or answer the myriad of difficult questions I had. So, I began forging a new life flying by the seat of my pants. It took me a few years of making poor choices and incurring more heartache to realize the only real healing I would ever find was in my Catholic faith.

After going through the annulment process, receiving a decree of nullity and many years of working to overcome the challenges of my divorce, I met and married my wonderful husband, Jim. God has blessed me with an amazing life and a beautiful family, and it is impossible for me to not share this with everyone. God loves and wants to bless each one of us, not just me. And when the chips are down and circumstances are discouraging, this message offers hope. But the ones I want to hear it the most, are those who are divorced. These are the ones I refer to as “A million unheard souls.”

That phrase actually comes from a song by music legend Peter Gabriel titled, “The Blood of Eden” which is a song written about his own divorce some years before mine.

I can hear the distant thunder of a million unheard souls, of a million unheard souls. Watch each one reach for creature comfort, for the filling of their holes.

Those words have always struck a deep chord with me beyond my own ability to identify with it. Divorce is a travesty and a crisis in the Church. There millions of people who walk among us and although they may smile and say hello on the outside, they are deeply wounded and suffering on this inside. They are searching for healing and I want to help them. But unfortunately, they are too often ignored and met with indifference because divorce in the Catholic Church is such a controversial issue. As one marriage and family therapist told me once, “You are dealing with the people no one wants to deal with.” Because I know that devastating pain and the incredible hardship that comes with divorce, I want to reach these people so I can offer hope, truthful answers to their questions, and the compassion they seek.

I do not confuse “compassion” with “condoning” and I do not wish to skirt my way around Church doctrines or find loopholes or backdoors for divorced Catholics who rebel against the teaching of Christ regarding divorce so they can have their way. That being said, I very much want to roll out the red carpet of mercy and compassion to this group of Catholics who are feeling very neglected, indeed.

I’ve been doing this in various ways, beginning with the Journey of Hope parish support program I wrote in 2001 and directed in the Archdiocese of Atlanta until 2011. The program is now international and it’s components are the book Divorced. Catholic. Now What?, the Workbook, and the Voices of Hope DVD companion. You can learn more about these powerful resources and see all the free offerings for divorce recovery on my website LisaDuffy.Com.

My new book, The Catholic Guide To Dating After Divorce, which bears an Imprimatur and Nihil Obstat from Bishop Robert E. Guglielmone of the diocese of Charleston, SC, was released in May of this year. I am a Senior Blog Contributor at the successful and well-respected CatholicMatch Institute where I’ve been writing for more than 4 years as their post-divorce advisor. I am thrilled to now be part of the family at Patheos.Com where I hope to reach even more people who are interested in accurate information on the issues surrounding divorced Catholics.

As a faithful Catholic who hopes to extend the compassion and mercy Pope Francis has asked us all to do, I invite you to send me your comments and questions at [email protected] and if you know of anyone who is suffering through a divorce or looking for advice on how to have a happy, successful relationship, I hope you will recommend my blog. Thanks so much for stopping by!