Pastor Mark Driscoll
God is a Father who loves children. He encourages parents, starting with fathers, to be considerate of their children. In fact, God says to parents in Colossians 3:21, “…do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Here are some very practical ways that we adults can discourage a kid:
- Making more withdrawals through criticism than deposits through encouragement
- Physically shoving, intimidating, threatening, and/or not being physically affectionate in appropriate ways
- Correcting without instructing so that the kid has no idea why they are in trouble until after they are disciplined
- Verbally yelling, name calling, cursing, barking, or screaming
- Publicly humiliating them in front of others
- Not distinguishing between sins that require correction and mistakes which happen to all of us. (e.g. disobeying versus spilling a glass of water)
- Showing favoritism between siblings, which provokes jealousy and rivalry
- Being absent so that the child is neglected and forced depend on someone other than a parent (e.g. older sibling) or fend or him/herself
- Leaving the child open to harm and/or abuse due to a lack of protective boundaries
- Imposing unreasonable and demanding performance expectations in areas such as sports or grades
- Exhibiting an un-relational parenting style that is aloof, unloving, detached, and often encourages the child to just play on technology and leave the adult alone
- Not being fun to hang out and make memories with
- Not being generous; almost always saying no
- Never repenting of your own sin but demanding that the child repent of his or hers constantly
- Never asking the kids/grandkids if there are any ways that you are provoking their hurt or discouraging their heart and actually listening to their answer
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