Catholic and Enjoying It!
Today, my mewling sycophants, I have something really special in store! A reader wrote yesterday:
I’m starting to worry that the power of having 131 followers may go to your head and you’ll try to take over blogs like mine that only have a handful of followers. Please ease the minds of us humble bloggers and promise that, in the spirit of Christian peace and charity, you won’t engage in a cyber-conquest against us.
I naturally assured my reader that, after seizing his blog I would have no further territorial claims on St. Blogs and guaranteed him Peace in Our Time.
Still, it got me thinking: “Wouldn’t more… what’s the term?… “living space?” be nice?” Yes, it would. My fortress of solitude where I dwell on thoughts of vengeance and power to right all the cruelties inflicted on me by fourth grade peers who never understood me can get a bit cramped sometimes as I pace to and fro, plotting the downfall of all that is good and right. Sometimes you just need to get out and mingle with the race whose doom you hope to seal.
So: your assignment for today: assuming I did, as Emperor Marcus Sheavius I take control of the very many things in this world that need me to do things to them, what should they be and what should I do to them? General Motors? Nintendo? The US Government? The UN? Those Warranty Activation People who constantly call? The Illuminati? Baristas? Squeegee men? Skateboarders? People who don’t turn off their cell phones at the movies? What do *you* think I should be controlling and what should I do when I get control of it? Also, if you think you would make a good henchman and bullying toady, let me know which aspects of the Great Reform you’d like to oversee. I will naturally need your qualifications, of course.
I remain, my cringing minions, yours for a more efficient and compassionate World Administration.
That is all.
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