…is a heart of cold, unyielding stone.
Still, I couldn’t help but get a misty about this grovel from reader Nathan Kenneday
To Our Dark Lord, the Great and Powerful;
O Dark Lord, I have followed you for so long and I have never asked for anything in return, and now I humbly ask that you take pity on little pipsqueak like me as I strive very hard to become a Dominican Friar.
I have set up a Facebook page, a page on my blog, and a Google+ page to help get the word out and to solicit what contributions anyone can provide, whether through prayer and spiritual support, or through monetary donations (tax-deductible when sent directly to the Dominicans). I have a long way to go with this, and simply ask that everyone help get the word out and prayerfully consider donating.I’ll do anything if you would do me this favor, whether that be licking the dirt of your shoes or tending to the boiling cauldron as you entertain yourself with your latest victim, er I mean subject, fortunate enough to provide you the amusement you so deserve as Our Dark Lord.
I will now get back to hanging on your every word and quaking in my boots as your oh-so-fair and symmetrical face fills the wall behind the screen of flaming pipes. Oh, and I promise not to mind whoever that man is behind the curtain.
Thank you, and God bless!
Minions! This is the kind of suckupery that transforms my Dark Lord heart from cold stone to a boiling magma of cruelty for all who do not cringe and scrape as Nathan does. Be sure to imitate his lickspittle obsequies as you go to his links and help a young Dominican bring the gift of slobbery kowtowing to my will into the heart of his order.