First Wave of Children of Gay Couples…

First Wave of Children of Gay Couples… September 5, 2012

are now beginning to report in on the “How were we supposed to know?” phase of history just as most of American civilization is embarking on the “What could it possibly hurt?” phase. Train wreck ahead.

But then, this was never about the children. This is about the need for narcissists to feel affirmed in their okayness. Whenever Generation Narcissus parents want to do something especially selfish, they just tell themselves “Children are resilient” and it’s full speed ahead.

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  • I get so sick of the ridiculous stunts that people try to pull to become parents. You are not owed a child and the child is not a toy or a pet or something like that. Each child is a human being endowed with dignity by God – and they only get one chance at life. This “resilience” crud (while possibly true) is irrelevant. You don’t put children through extra suffering just to feel good about yourself … and if you do, you’re not a good parent anyway.

    • John in NE

      Hear, hear on the “resilience” comment. You say “while possibly true”… I think it is true that kids are resilient, meaning that they can get through many things (moving away from friends, death in the family, bullying, rejection at school, etc.) when they know unmistakably that they are loved by their family. They know it unmistakably because the family’s actions demonstrate how high exactly their kids fit on the list of priorities.

      And you are absolutely right that the fact that they can be resilient is no carte blanche to introduce turmoil as a matter of convenience or whim.

    • Precisely why choice rights and birth prevention technologies are so important! Can anyone say Honey Boo Boo (or whatever that little “mother’s mistake” is named.)

  • Adolfo

    Terribly sad. My heart goes out to this man and to other children in his situation.

  • B.E. Ward

    There’s an interesting part 2 here….

    The last few paragraphs are….. I don’t even know.

  • Confederate Papist

    Mark, you’re just a hater. Once you acknowledge it you will feel okay about your own inadequacies.
    Why can’t people who love each other do what (or who) they want????

    Sorry, sarcasm over.

    • Confederate Papist

      Now that I got my snarkiness out; I am NOT surprised by this. This needs to be plastered all over the place because it’s not like, you know, made up by some scientist (so-called) with a political agenda. These are real people and it astounds me that 248 people in this study all have the same perspective.

  • It would be tremendously helpful to map out where to go from “how were we supposed to know” to “the kids are all right”. I suspect that the US system of ministers taking on state functions and mixing the two marriages is not going to survive the transition to something sustainable.

  • JosephineMO7

    I agree with him completely. I recently heard about a law in california conferring parental rights onto people who are not parents to the child. I have this terrible fear that it could be used against me one day and woman my mother was intimate with would have grandparent rights to my children. I have left these people out of my life intentionally and if, god forbid, something happened to my husband and I these woman getting my children would be horrific. The idea scares the hell out of me. Though I can see a bunch of faghags ganging up on my for not wanting my kids to have “so many loving grandmothers”. The beliefs of the community itself are incompatable with normalcy. The hatred towards Christianity was as bad back then as it is now. I used to be terrified of Christians because I thought they were hard and truly out to get me. Turns out they weren’t.

    He is lucky he didn’t experience the worst of the gay community. I was in California as a kid then 2 more states after that. From what I have seen homosexuality is a mental illness. Most of the kids I knew growing up are now in gay lifestyles. Some with kids. It is unfortunate. My siblings don’t even acknowledge what happened. They pretend nothing happened and try, failingly, to act as if we are all normal. It is weird. I can see people looking at us strange and I feel like they know something is off. I hate it.

    Ohh and I hate other woman touching me. I struggle with that so much I can’t even tell you.

  • bob

    Funny isn’t it, how people will usually think it’s odd for Mormons to “baptize” people they never heard of after they’re dead, but declaring yourself a “parent” of someone unrelated seems to be a pretty dull process. At least the strange Mormon custom has zero effect on anyone.

  • JosephineMO7

    James you do realize that gay couple go to great effort to have kids now days. There have been lawsuits over fertility clinics not treating lesbian couples.

    And if you are suggesting I should have been aborted because my mother is sexually dysfunctional then I have to ask what you based your opinion on. I am quite thankful to be here. My 7 kids from my 18 year marriage would have neve gotten here without me.

  • Amy P.

    This is a part that stood out to me:
    Inside, however, I was confused. When your home life is so drastically different from everyone around you, in a fundamental way striking at basic physical relations, you grow up weird. I have no mental health disorders or biological conditions. I just grew up in a house so unusual that I was destined to exist as a social outcast.

    But, rather than see the red flags this sends up, the response will be to try to figure out a way to further attempt to “normalize” this sort of parenting. Coupled, of course, with the punishment — social, legal and otherwise — that accompanies those found guilty of “ungoodthink.”

    • JosephineMO7

      The people in power can implement every one of those things and sing songs about the glory of gayness everywhere. Children of homosexuals will still commit suicide at the same rate if not more. If you as a straight person have to hear about how bad you are because you don’t believe homosexuals are the peak of society then imagine how much more a gay persons kids are subjected to. Say you want a mommy or a daddy just once. I have had that finger pointed at my nose, by the very people who taught me to be rebellious, and was ordered to love another woman as my mother. She left not long after and I was taken by my grandmother shortly after that. I have never felt sad that she was gone because I hated her but what about a child that is born into thinking this person is supposed to love them. I had a daddy till I was 5 then mommy decided she wasted to go to California to be close to a girlfriend there. I talk to him weekly but we have huge hurdles to get over. I haven’t spoken to my mother but one in 14 years. Can’t and don’t think I could get through it charitably.

  • Frank McManus

    Wait, is Mark saying gay people are narcissists if they want to raise children? Seriously?

    And is that a formal clinical diagnosis or just a random insult?

  • Still waiting on the formal declaration that unmarried individuals who adopt are just as if not more narcissistic than a same-sex couple. Hey, at least they’re trying to be a family and not just a parent with a kid. That’s probably the most selfish thing I could think of, adopting a child to have only one parent. What, they don’t grow up feeling weird or like an outcast? They don’t experience identity struggle or a struggle to relate to those who have both a mother and father? As someone who was raised by a single parent, I can attest that the answer to both questions is YES. The only problem is I’m saying it by myself since it wouldn’t garner much political gain to have a survey of children raised in single-parent homes since while it’s very much stigmatized by the Church (and while I don’t think that they are ideal, I am disappointed in said stigma as one’s family does NOT define him) it is much more accepted in wider society since it happens at a much larger rate across the board, not just in sociological minorities. Why not just oppose adoption by non-married heterosexual couples completely on principle instead of merely opposing gay adoption as a political statement against the redefinition of “marriage” and “family”? The latter won’t actually solve anything because when you create double-standards like this, it gives everyone a perfectly good reason to point their finger at you and cry “bigot”. It’s because you are. Consistency, please, and thank you.