Third Argument Against Existence of God Discovered

St. Thomas, who always tried to be thorough and fair, surveyed the whole history of human thought and could only come up with two really decent arguments against the existence of God. For all of history up to the present, all really good atheist arguments boil down to one or both of these, repeated and elaborated up with varying emotional appeals, illustrations, and putdowns. All the *other* atheist “arguments” boil down to fallacious crap, emoting, grandstanding, posturing, non sequiturs, blather, and sneering. That atheism so often moves past the two good arguments and lards on fallacious crap is one of the telling tics that gives away the fact that atheists aren’t as confident of their case as they often insist they are.

However, thanks to modern biological research, we may have a third argument that can help the atheist case: really big scary spiders.

Some of my readers will argue that this spider is a restatement of the Problem of Evil. Let me explain it in the manner of reddit.atheism: SHUT UP! BIG SCARY SPIDERS! ARE YOU BLIND *AND* STUPID? NO GOD! SHEESH!

It’s hard to argue with that.