Mercer Island School District Bans Playing Tag

…to protect the physical and emotional well-being of The Children[TM].

This is such an uber-Seattle thing to do.  Now they will be free to pursue a life of fragile orchidhood with their cell phones and their junk food and nobody will make them feel inadequate over their obesity, lack of muscle tone, and inability to cope with the thought that inequality of speed, coordination, and game scores exist in the world.  Self-esteem is the summum bonum.

Update: The ban has been lifted, but in true uber-Seattle fashion, the district stated, “Our school principals and teachers will work with our students as they imagine and develop new games for play.” Because kids totally need state professionals to help them figure out Play Strategies, Goals, and Objectives.