It is vitally important to the defense of our nation

that, should I or my fellow Jollies join the military, every single member of the Armed Forces not only knows what and how much I and my fellow Jollies eat, but that they should be compelled to celebrate and approve that, and make constant accomodations to our appetites. Forget unit cohesion. The military is about group therapy for me and my needs. You can’t leave a thing like Jolliness private and say, “It’s not anybody’s business but yours.” We’re out and we’re stout, people! Our comrades-in-arms must have their noses rubbed in what we Jollies choose to do privately, and they must be exposed and punished if they so much as hint at a dislike or even a distaste for what Jollies do, let alone a moral qualm. That’s what the army is for!: affirming Me and My desires! All other considerations about the mission of the military must bend over before that one Sacred fact!