The Deception of Porn and Erotica

The Deception of Porn and Erotica August 2, 2018

I’ve seen many marriages fail when a husband or wife (and sometimes both) begin thinking that sin will enhance sex or revive a stalled sex life.

A major one of these sins, of course, is pornography. A man need not leave his home these days to be confronted with erotic images from TV, magazines, movies and, of course, the Internet.

Make no mistake: Pornographic images are flaming missiles of deception. They are Satan’s special weapon to destroy marriage. I call it “satanic sex education.”

Most porn portrays women as sex objects without emotional needs. When a man views pornography, he’s led to believe “normal” women want sex as much as he does and in the same way he does. Which then causes him to believe something is wrong with his wife. She’s abnormal! He’s being robbed!

Porn puts men into bondage because it’s so addictive. It creates an appetite. The more a man views, the more he needs in order to satisfy the cravings. His viewing habits become raunchier. He wants to act out what he’s seeing. He wants his wife to be part of it, too, dehumanizing her in the process.

When she doesn’t satisfy him, he may be tempted to enact the worst-case scenario: going outside his marriage to experience the life pictured in pornography.

God designed sex to be satisfying only when emotional and spiritual intimacy accompany the physical intimacy. Great, godly sex draws from all our areas of life. That’s what makes it satisfying. Porn bypasses these things and promises fulfillment solely on a physical level. That’s what makes it a lie.

I have known men who have destroyed their lives in the pursuit of this deception. Sexual excitement becomes a monster they are driven to feed…but with ever-diminishing levels of satisfaction.

Women are not immune to this deception either. They may be less responsive to visual stimuli—though there are certainly women who succumb to female erotica—but they can be easily hooked by the allure of romance novels, soap operas, certain kinds of movies and even online connections.

These, too, can become satanic sex education for women.

Let’s use romance novels as an example. Almost always written by women for women, they excite their readers by downplaying men’s sexual nature of men while overplaying men’s emotions. They convince women that there are men out there (unlike their husbands) who are much more sensitive and far less sexual.

This also is deception. It causes women to judge and reject their husbands. They may convince themselves they are losing out on “true love.” It tempts them to seek that kind of fictional emotional fulfillment outside of marriage.

As husbands and wives, we must reject these lies and refuse to be entertained by them. We must realize the truth that sex is only fulfilling when both partners turn their hearts toward each other and work to meet each other’s differing needs.

God created us sexually different. To reject those differences is to damage our marriages. To try to conform our spouses into our image is just as dangerous. That’s why pornography and female erotica are such big threats to your marriage.


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