Three Steps to Renewal (Part 2)

When John was writing the book of Revelation, the spirit of God prompted him to write down several warnings from Jesus to churches at the time. Christ’s words to the believers at Ephesus are words that many of us can apply to our marriages.

“Remember therefore from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first…”

The church at Ephesus had forsaken its “first love,” so Jesus gave these believers a three-step plan for restoring that all-important relationship:

1. Remember from where you have fallen
2. Repent
3. Do the deeds you did at first

Can struggling married couples also learn from this three-step plan of restoration? I believe so.

Last week we discussed the necessity of remembering the passion, devotion, and commitment of the early stages of our marriage—the time when, as husbands and wives, marriage was fulfilling and exciting. We put each other first regardless of how we felt.

Once we remember that time, our next step is to repent. In the Bible, the word repent means “to turn around, or to do an about-face.” It implies that we are going the wrong way, so we change direction.

When we begin to lose the first love we once had for a spouse, then it is clear that we have begun moving in the wrong direction. We will continue that movement until we turn back around. Healing won’t begin until we have changed directions—until we have repented.

In telling the church at Ephesus to repent, Jesus told them to remember the fervent actions and right attitudes they displayed at the beginning of their relationship with him.

As a married man or woman, are you currently doing things that you wouldn’t have done at the beginning of your marriage? Have you adopted different attitudes? Have you replaced certain loving or sacrificial actions with selfish actions? Then you need to change those actions and attitudes.

True biblical repentance requires three ingredients: 1) Revelation: acknowledging the truth; 2) Confession: admitting you were wrong; and 3) Action: adjusting your direction.

Compare your present condition to your original state. If certain things have changed, then you need to acknowledge that truth. Own up to it, then confess it—both to God and to your spouse. It is only after these first two steps that you will be able to adjust your direction. Turn the other way. Go back to your first love.

Once you’ve changed directions, you’ll be ready to conclude the process of restoration: by “doing the deeds you did at first.” That’s step three of God’s plan for renewal, and we’ll discuss it in next week’s Marriage Builder.