He wants you to be his best friend. He wants to have fun with you. He wants to explore with you and create new adventures with you. He doesn’t want you to treat him like you’re his mom (even when he’s acting like a kid). He wants to be your friend.
A man’s need for respect is a deep, soul-level need that’s surprising to most women. Research has found most men would rather feel respected by their wives than feel loved. When you affirm him and believe in him, he’ll feel like he can take on the world. When you nag him or constantly correct him or insult him, it will crush his soul.
Your husband most like has a strong physical desire for frequent sex, but sex isn’t just physical for him. He feels connected to you when you make love. He feels rejected by you when you deny his advances or when you never seem to be the one to initiate sex. Make your sex life a priority, and you’ll be simultaneously encouraging your husband and growing closer to him in the process.
4. Domestic Support
Men should definitely do their part at home and with the kids in an equal way (especially when both spouses work outside the home), but most men want their wives to take the lead on making the house into a home. You shouldn’t feel the pressure to have a constantly-clean, HGTV-looking, magazine cover, dream house. That’s not what he should expect. What he wants most is a home where there is peace. He wants the home to be a refuge, and YOU are the thermostat of the home. You determine much more than simple décor, you have the power to determine the “climate” of the home, so do your part to make it warm, loving and joyful.
This is a HUGE expectation of both husbands and wives. It’s what a marriage is built on. When you threaten divorce or when you look for opportunities to escape from him, he’ll feel the lack of love and commitment and the marriage won’t ever be all it could be. Above all, make sure he knows you love him, you believe in him, and you’re committed to him no matter what. The strength of your commitment will determine the strength of your marriage.
If you’ll start by prioritizing these five needs of your husband, I believe you’ll see lasting growth in your marriage. He’ll probably be much more motivated and equipped to meet YOUR needs and expectations. Keep serving each other. Keep loving each other. Keep investing in your marriage and you’ll keep growing closer through every season of life.
For additional resources to help your marriage, check out our new “Naked Marriage” podcast and our new book at www.NakedMarriageBook.com.