An Unhappy Wife Means an Unhealthy Marriage

A good friend of mine once told me a story I’ll never forget. Late at night, before he went to sleep, he lay in bed next to his wife. At the time, everything seemed to be going his way, and he remembers thinking how wonderful things had turned out.

In a moment of emotional honesty that tends to be pretty rare among guys, he said to his wife, “You know, I’ve never been happier than I am at this moment.”

She burst into tears.

He asked what was wrong, and she sobbed even more, tears streaming onto her pillow. “I’ve never been this unhappy,” she said.

This simple conversation awakened my friend to the reality of his marriage, and it transformed their relationship. He never knew how unhappy his wife had become because he never took the time to ask.

Men, don’t assume that your wife is happy just because you are happy.

In fact, here’s what I want you to understand: You’re not a successful husband until your wife says you are.

The true barometer of a healthy marriage is a happy and secure wife.

Why? Because the countenance of a wife reveals the true character of a man. When you see a woman who is beaten down and vulnerable, you’re seeing the reflection of a man who is wounded—and who wounds those he loves. This is a man refusing to embrace his responsibility before God.

But when you see a woman who exudes confidence and security, a woman whose eyes shine with glory, a woman of poise and beauty and self-assurance, you’re seeing the reflection of a man who understands what it means to love and cherish his wife as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25).

Jesus gave everything for us, laying down His life so that we might have a relationship with God. He held nothing back, and God commands men to hold nothing back when it comes to their wives.

A godly husband is expected to lay down his life to bring his wife to her full potential before God. He holds nothing back.

One day, every man will stand before Jesus and give an account of his life. I fully expect a question like this: “How did you treat the precious women I put in your life? How did you treat your wife and daughters?”

Had I been asked that question nearly forty years ago, I would have bowed my head in shame. Thankfully, God reached into my heart and changed my life. Today, the man I became is reflected in the woman Karen has become.

She radiates poise and confidence, and God is doing great things through her.

Men, we have been given an incredible responsibility. God has entrusted us with our wives, some of His most precious possessions.

He has given us an extraordinary responsibility and a task of enormous significance. We dare not take it lightly.

Is your wife happy and secure? If you don’t know the answer to this vitally important question, it’s time to ask.