#Meh, A Poem About #Twitter

#Meh: A Poem About #Twitter

I see your meh #Twitter
And it mostly amuses me.
Some people tape record their farts
And get a thousand retweets.

I write poetry and it just slides
Down in the tweet ocean
Like it never existed,
Becoming part of the plastic dead zone.

Is it because I don’t have a blue check?
You stopped giving out blue checks
Long before I came into my stride.
I missed the window, just like middle school dating.

You say to engage your followers;
You say it’s about having conversations;
No it’s not; does everyone actually use bots
As their early adopters?

Because we only retweet retweets;
It’s like changing the polarity
Of the earth’s gravity
To get the first ten retweets.

Each time you ignore me #Twitter
I get a little saltier;
You could have viralized my book launch
That could have saved the world.

But you wanted celebrity drama
That week and woketivist olympics;
I’m so much more woke than you #Twitter
But I’m too tired to perform.

It deforms me to keep at this game
Of high-fiving the wokest influencers
And dunking on the Chads and Amys;
And yet if you gave me just one viral

I would bend over backwards
For you again in a heartbeat;
But you keep on brushing your lips
Against my cheek with these likes

Like a Southern genteel lady
Fake-kissing the new kid in town
With condescending pity;
I want it on the mouth #Twitter.

So now I’ll send off my model rocket
Into the midnight sky again;
And it will dissolve into the clouds again
Through the magic of your algorithm.