More Thoughts on Modesty

LINK: Why Modesty, Why? from Femina

Amen! It is vitally important when addressing the topic of modesty to find the narrow path. You know, the one that has the two ditches on either side named Frumpy and Skanky. There is a way to be completely beautiful and God glorifying without going to one extreme or the other. I’d argue that sliding into either ditch is (at the very least) flirting with sin.

God created beauty. It is a gift, there is no reason to attempt to dress in a manner that masks that.  Wearing a burqa or wearing string bikini present the same problem:  One hides God’s gift in fabric and one hides God’s gift in distraction. Make sure you aren’t hating beauty (which can manifest both in skimpy clothes and in over-coverage). Remember that modesty is mostly contextual: A wife who is nude in bed with her husband is completely modest. A woman in a burqini at the beach is immodest .  Find the balance.

Clothing should reflect your Designer, not distract from who He is. This will be hard. With all the wonderfully different body types (that, as woman, seem to change often) figuring out how to dress your body in a complimentary way that is not immodest is a lot of work. But this is part of the responsibility God gave us. I didn’t know how to dress in a way that glorified God for a long time and I am still learning.  If you are struggling with that, too, here are some tips I’ve gathered so far:

1. Find someone who dresses to the glory of God and take notes. Even if they have a different body type, you can still glean wisdom.

2. Do some research. Figure out what body type you have (it may have changed if you’ve had kids recently…seriously! I went from a rectangle to an hourglass. I’m still trying to figure out how to dress my new figure!) There are lots of style blogs, that while they aren’t all Christian, they do have some good advice. You can take the useful tips and forget the other stuff.

3. The good news is that you aren’t alone in this struggle!  Pray while shopping. Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment as you shop.  Maybe bring along your mom, your dad, your husband or your friend who seems to have a knack for this.

4. Be reasonable. Know what your budget is before you go shopping and only look at clothing that fits in to it. Also, be aware of your body. Do you go up a size or two during certain parts of the month? Maybe go shopping once or twice during your bigger body days so you’ll have something you enjoy wearing during those times.

5. Ignore the size as much as possible. It is impossible to totally ignore them (women’s clothing in particular has no real method to the madness of sizing) but don’t allow the numbers to have any power over you. The number does not matter. How it fits you does. At a time in my life where my habits were completely self-serving, I fit into a size 2 pant.  Being a woman who is 5′ 5″ and 115 lbs, I fit into world’s narrow concept of beauty. However, from a practical standpoint, I was very unhealthy, malnourished and always hungry.  It’s been 11 years and 4 pregnancies since then and I’m now wearing a size  12 pant and am usually about 140 lbs. I look at my picture then and look at myself now and I think I’m prettier now — and my husband agrees. Yes, I have a mommy pooch, stretch marks, veiny legs and bat arms. Anyone who knows me, knows that cheese is my favorite food and you can probably tell by looking at me that it’s true.  But I’m happier and healthier!  Ironically, it was Christian Dior who said, “Happiness is the secret to all beauty…” and he was right. Who cares what the number says! The moral of this story is, make sure you shop for clothes that will fit you, not the clothes you wished fit you.

6. To my younger readers: it is rare to find parents that want their daughters to be ugly. It’s not unheard of, I’ve even met some parents like that. Beautiful daughters can be more work than unattractive ones. But,  most parents aren’t trying to squash your fun or fashion sense. They want you to be beautiful, but in a way that is glorifying to God and healthy for you — that is TRUE beauty. I know it can be frustrating, but trust God. He gave you your parents on purpose. Even when it is annoying, even when you think they are wrong, respect and honor their wishes. They might be wrong, your parents are human just like you, but God gave you the job of submitting to them. You make sure you are doing what God commanded  you to do and let Him take care of your folks.

7.  Finally, don’t get anxious or discouraged. “And why do you worry about clothes? Notice how the lilies in the field grow. They don’t wear themselves out with work, and they don’t spin cloth.  But I say to you that even Solomon in all of his splendor wasn’t dressed like one of these.” – Matthew 6:28-29