Navigating relationships with emotionally immature people can feel like a rollercoaster ride, whether it’s with a parent, partner, or a close friend. I’ve realized that recognizing the signs of emotional immaturity—like when someone can’t respect boundaries, is emotionally unavailable, or always centers conversations around themselves—helps me understand why some interactions leave me feeling drained. It’s tough because my feelings often go unacknowledged, which can lead to a deep sense of invalidation. But here’s the good news: healing from these experiences is totally possible, and a big part of that journey is about surrounding myself with emotionally mature people who genuinely support my growth.
One of the best things I’ve done for my healing is identify emotionally mature individuals and intentionally spend more time with them. It might sound simple, but trust me, the impact can be profound. These emotionally mature folks respect my boundaries, are self-reflective, and know how to create space for my emotions. They don’t dismiss what I’m feeling or try to manipulate situations to their advantage. Instead, they listen, acknowledge, and even comfort me when I’m struggling. Being around them helps me reconnect with my own emotions and validate what I feel—something I often missed in past relationships.
Another crucial step for me has been learning how to set clear boundaries with those who can’t offer that same emotional support. It’s all about figuring out what’s okay and what’s not, then deciding how I’ll respond if those boundaries are crossed. Sometimes, this means stepping away from a conversation or taking time for myself when someone disregards my needs. I won’t lie; it’s not easy, especially if I’m used to internalizing my feelings and avoiding confrontation. But by practicing these boundaries and letting go of the desire for emotionally immature people to change, I’m focusing more on meeting my own needs and embracing the emotional growth that really benefits my healing journey.
Sarah Vallely, author is the host of The Aware Mind