I invite you to think about all the people in the world. And there’s a certain number of people who have anxiety. Then, out of those people, there’s a certain number of people who have anxiety because of shame or self-devaluing. And then within that group of people, there are those who believe their accomplishments didn’t happen because of their own knowledge and their own skill, but happened because of luck or fate, something that is out of their control.... Read more
I challenged myself to meditate for 60 minutes a day, every single day, for as long as I could. And I did that for nine months, and it absolutely changed my life. Afterwards I was operating from a completely different place. Much more focused, centered, I had more gratitude, and more feeling of sense of support in my life. One of my biggest challenges in getting myself on the cushion to meditation is doubt that It will help, doubt that... Read more
When we sit with fear or insecurity in a healthy way, we liberate ourselves from the discomfort. It is amazing. This does not mean that you’ll never feel the discomfort that comes from the fear, again, but it means it won’t affect you in the same way. It doesn’t have as much power over you. We let go of thinking things such as, “This discomfort means that there’s something wrong with me.” Or “This discomfort means that something bad is... Read more
What are you motivating yourself to do in 2024? And how do you see that working out for you? The opposite to motivation is procrastination. I’ve read recently in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine procrastination can cause headaches. digestive issues, colds, insomnia, hypertension and is linked to cardiovascular disease. Another interesting fact about procrastination is, in a twin study, it was found that it is 46 percent hereditary. The information out there about overcoming procrastination is geared towards decreasing the... Read more
The average American spends seven hours a day looking at a screen. About half of that time is spent on a mobile device. Teenagers have a bit higher times than adults, but not by much. There are 21 countries who spend more time on their devices than the US. Some of the countries that scored really high are the Philippines, Brazil, and South Africa. European countries, for the most part, were lower than us. During the pandemic, mobile screen time... Read more
First, I want to talk about the difference between stress and anxiety. They are both emotional responses. However, stress is typically caused by an external trigger (something going on in our world) and this stress can cause irritability, anger, fatigue, muscle pain, digestive problems, and sleep issues. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a bit more persistent, and often more excessive than stress. Anxiety involves excessive worries that don’t go away, even when our stressor is gone. Anxiety can cause... Read more
When people start working with me who come to me because of anxiety, they usually have two emotional or mental states. It’s either anxious or not anxious. I find that their emotional spectrum is pretty limited. When my clients learn more emotional language and use mindfulness, their anxiety goes down quite a bit. The emotional work soothes the nervous system. When I use the term emotional work, what I’m talking about is pretty specific. The first thing that my clients... Read more
I want to address some of the arguments against self-compassion because self-compassion can feel uncomfortable for people. And some of the things I hear are, “I need to be strong and tough it out.” The way I would address this is the same way I address anger. If action is more important than healing, then, yes, being strong is very appropriate. However, if you want to really engage in a healing process, then some vulnerability, would be really helpful. Vulnerability... Read more
If someone is codependent, they might feel responsible for others. It could look like literally feeling responsible for their problems or feeling responsible for their emotional reactions. Another sign of codependence is having difficulty expressing your feelings. Expressing your wants and needs can be a real challenge for somebody who is considered to be codependent. Another sign is not trusting yourself, doubting your actions, and doubting your abilities. And lastly, another important sign of codependence is disappointment and how others... Read more
Conflict in a relationship can arise for a variety of reasons. You might have different beliefs about how things should be done; your feelings might get hurt; you might not feel supported. It might feel like you have been devalued, not feeling heard, feeling misunderstood. Retriggered trauma, for example, you may have trauma from someone who uses a certain tone of voice. And then if your partner uses a tone of voice that’s similar to that, that can retrigger you... Read more
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